Laugh Your Way Around the World: Hilarious Geography Jokes.

Awful news from my mate and his wife on honeymoon in Croatia.
He's just sent a text saying that tomorrow they're going to Split.

Egyptians claim that there are no crocodiles in Egypt.

I think they're in de nile.

There's a famous river in Crimea.

Geography teacher asked if I could name a country with no R in it.

I said, "No way."

The Russians tried to invade Alaska but they couldn’t get their Berings Strait.

I'd love to go to Oslo, but there's Norway I can a-fjord it.

Netherlands, Netherlands.
It's all double Dutch to me.

What does the Geographer do during sex?
He's looking for the coordinates of spot G.

If you're ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.

My friend asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to the most popular canyon in the world. I said, “that would be Grand.”

When the glacier was asked for an opinion on global warming, it replied 'I dunno, I've never really thawed about it.'

Rivers are so lazy

They never get out of their beds.

When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.

I don't want to rank the Great Lakes from best to worst, but one of them is definitely Superior.

It’s been revealed that Greece has been selling fake cement to one of its own islands.
It seems that they were trying to con Crete.

I got an email today asking $19.95 to teach me how to read maps backwards. It turned out to be spam.

I had misplaced my research paper on Geography.

But then I found it atlas!

If you have an uncontrollable urge to buy land in Antarctica you are probably suffering from buy polar DISORDER.

Why are there no ants in the Arctic circle?

Because they're all in the ant Arctic circle.

Ten Thousand years ago the first humans came to North America by crossing over from Russia to Alaska. They hadn't actually intended to do this. They got lost and couldn't get their Berings Strait.

I wonder if the planet earth teases other planets for having no life.

I remember the last time I went to the North Pole. They didn't have anything to sit on except ice blocks and I got a bad case of Polaroids.

Technically, the borders of Finland are
Finnish lines.

I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest... just not more than I don’t want to.

The teacher asked us to name some Polynesian islands. I came up with Tuvalu and Tonga but it wasn’t enough; the teacher wanted Samoa.

Just bought a new TV, on the back of it was printed "Built in Antenna".....
I haven"t a clue where that country is !

If you put a map of your country on the floor, there will be a point on the map that is touching the actual point it refers to.

Ever since my wife took a job in Antarctica, she’s been cold and distant.

I really appreciate all the positive feedback I’ve received on my pun about a mountain plateau. It’s the highest form of flattery!

The southern hemisphere doesn't have Polaris, the North Star, but the Southern Cross is a good constellation prize.

I just ate a map of Montana and now I feel MT inside.

Be careful to hold your directional compass correctly!! For if you hold it upside-down, well, everything will go...south.

A tourist had to get an eye test while visiting an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

I’m making a couple of brief films about a British territory in the Atlantic Ocean. Don’t miss my award-winning Bermuda shorts!

Visit Afghanistan. You'll never know where you'll beheaded.

If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."

The country with the highest number of warning signs, is China. Red flags everywhere.

What is the opposite of Antarctica?
Uncle Arctica.

Her: “I'm leaving you because of your obsession with Africa puns!”
Him: “Uganda be kidding—Kenya be serious?”
Her: “I'm not joking.”
Him: “I've never Senegal like you.”
Her: “I can't endure this any longer—let's just split up.”
Him: “I'm Ghana miss you though.”

When traveling between Russia and Alaska, you first must get your Bering Strait.

No man is an island. Unless it’s the Isle of Man.

The country with the most crows?
Crowatia

Someone I know jumped off a bridge in Cairo. He was in denial...

My girlfriend is leaving me because of my obsession with Africa.
Kenya believe that?
Not going to lie, Ghana miss her though!

If you are ever going to climb the mountains between France and Spain you will need strong legs and a good pyrenees.

Mexico Is Just Spain With Drugs.

Where in Ireland would you find the most South Park fans? Kilkenny.

My boss said he was sick of my silly Country puns..
I promised him I'd stop because I don't want it to damage my Korea.

People from the Netherlands are Dutch, but are native to Holland.
They don't speak Hollandish nor Netherese.
It's all double Dutch to me.

I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest... just not more than I don’t want to.

I've ordered a book called "The World's Longest Rivers."
It'll be delivered by Amazon.

"You're on earth. There's no cure for that."
— Samuel Beckett

What washes up on really tiny beaches?
Microwave.

So many people visit Japan and no one has seen a ninja.

Impressive.

I'll go to the 4 corners of the earth to prove its round.

Son, where are the Himalayas Dad ?
Father, if you put things away,
You'd know where to find them.

Q- What do they call 'Thai-Spa' in Thailand?
A- Spa.

My boss just fired me for making too many jokes about Asian countries. I guess that's the end of my Korea.

I've never been any good at geography but at least i can name one city in France, which is Nice.

her: I hate to lose

me: really? that’s my favourite French city

What do Siberia and golf have in common?
Taiga Woods.

The Great Lakes are all pretty cool but one’s Superior.

Did you know there are no canaries on the Canary Islands? Same as with the Virgin Islands…
No canaries there either.

At the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle is a... wreck tangle.

Ants can be found on every single continent except Antarctica.

Ironic really, when you consider the name.

What's the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower?
Nothing they're both Paris sites.

"Dad" , "yes son ?" Where are the himalayans? I don't know ask your mom she puts everything away."

What do you use to find your way around Alcatraz island? A con-tour map.

Where is Old Zealand ? asking for a friend )

I'm thinking of going to Romania for a holiday..
I need to Bucharest.

The only thing flat earthers fear, is sphere itself.

- Here's a picture of the Antarctic.
- So I see.
- Yes, incredibly.

My grandfather left me his antique globe in his will.
It means the world to me.

An old pre-internet ad by Atlas maps.
Buy Atlas maps or get lost.

I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t even well rounded.

Germany has to be one of the smelliest countrys in Europe

-Its so bad they have a town called Cologne

"I've built a model of Mount Everest."

“Is it to scale?"

“No, just to look at...”

I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest... just not more than I don’t want to.

Completely forgot I booked a trip to Egypt. I must be going seenile.

How did the geography student drown?

His grades were below C level.