The delightful mix of geekiness and humor.
These jokes are like lines of code that tickle your funny bone and make you burst into fits of laughter faster than a bug-free program.
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of laughter and tech-related humor, join the club and indulge in the wonderful world of programmer jokes.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-20.
1. Entering a secret club where binary becomes the new language of comedy.
AI doesn’t replace programmers.
It simply makes English a programming language.
- Where does a Machine Learning engineer go camping?
- In a Random Forest!
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Why don’t developers carry guns?
They have troubleshooting.
Why do Python programmers prefer to work in the dark? Because they hate white space errors.
I used to be a developer for autocorrect.
Then they fried me for no raisin.
Coding is like a pendulum going back and forth between:
"I'm a genius?"
and
"I'm an idiot!"
Whenever a dating app works, it loses two of its users.
Software is like sex, it's better when it's free.
Job interviewer: So why are you deeply passionate about working with us?
Me: You need to secure servers, networks, and firewalls. I need to eat. Deal?
Debugging tip: get 8 hours of sleep.
God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version.
Three things should never be seen in the process of being created: laws, sausage, and software.
Amateur programmers think there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte; Real Programmers know there are 1024 meters in a kilometer.
If it happens once, it's a bug.
If it happens twice, it's a feature.
If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy.
2. Witnessing a symphony of nerdy wit.
Users are a terrible thing. Systems would be infinitely more stable without them.
-- Michael T. Nygard
Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?'
-- Steve McConnell
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
- Martin Golding
Debuggers don't remove bugs. They only show them in slow motion.
"Solve via iteration. Then get paid via repetition."
Can God write a program so complex that he cannot debug it?
(a variant of the Omnipotence Paradox)
"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
— Isaac Asimov
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
All programs have at least one bug remaining and can be optimized by one byte. Thus, by mathematical induction, all programs can be reduced to one byte. And it won't work.
In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.
It is easier to optimize correct code than to correct optimized code.
There's no test like production.
In the age of information, ignorance is a choice.
I got a message on my printer that my cartridge was low so I brought it out fun day trip to the seaside to cheer it up…
it didn’t work though;it still complained about feeling empty inside…
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement.
In the end, I ignore it all and click “I agree.”
3. The perfect blend of wit and geekiness.
What do you call a dying airport computer?
A terminal terminal terminal.
If you have a problem and have to use RegEx to solve it, you now have two problems.
Had trouble with my laptop, and my pal said;
" Have you tried disabling cookies?"
Me; "I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man."
I don't need a stable relationship, I need a stable internet connection.
Linux is not magic.
It's sudo science.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.
"Stay positive and keep smiling”
Unless you are a coder.
Then it's “stay caffeinated and keep debugging while questioning your life choices.”
If you’re not coding in notepad are you really a programmer?
I've created a writing software to rival microsoft.
It’s their Word against mine.
"Coding is a superpower because you can speak the language of robots and command them to do whatever you like."
The best way to debug is to go to sleep.
My kids put together a PowerPoint presentation explaining why we should go to the water park…
It has several slides.
Your brain is your biological personal computer. Make sure you're the only one programming it.
What did the SQL query ask the tables in the bar?
Can I JOIN you?
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
4. The binary ballet that only the tech-savvy truly appreciate.
DSA (Data Structures and Algorithms) is the leading cause of DSA (Depression, Stress and Anxiety).
How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?
You console it.
if your code works on the first try wake up you're dreaming.
Learning to code and design changed my life.
Now I don't have one.
Programming feels like you're just one tutorial away from knowing everything.
"Information is just bits of data. Knowledge is putting them together. Wisdom is transcending them."
~ Ram Dass
Oh no I typed the last character of my password wrong. Better delete the entire thing and try again.
Got paid, might buy winrar idk.
If SQL is the Sequel, what came before it?
Why didn't the <div> get invited to the formal party?
Because it had no class!
What do software and churches have in common? First we build them, then we pray.
- Elon Musk
$ pip install commonsense
What is System32 and where can I find the other 31 Systems?
"What one programmer can do in one month, two programmers can do in two months."
- Fred Brooks
"The best programs are the ones written when the programmer is supposed to be working on something else."
– Melinda Varian