Literature Jokes: Laugh Your Way Through Classic Tales.

The lack of teenage pregnancies at Hogwarts is unrealistic considering that the students had no Sex Ed classes.

Shakespeare: to be or not to be.

Schrödinger: you got it.

"If they wrote it to make money, don't read it."

I write short fiction. They're "To-Do Lists."

I had a joke about Shakespeare, but it was not to be.

- The last book I read was by George Orwell.
- 1984?
- No, last week.

Read what you love until you love to read.

I asked the librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s dog and Schrödinger’s cat.

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

Know what ya get when ya throw a lot of books in the ocean?

A title wave!

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the Scholastic book fair.

Welcome to Book Binding Club.
Please make yourself a tome.

“The Life and Times of Ivan Pavlov” by Isabelle Ringing

John’s “History of Poltergeists” is flying off the shelves.

Cinderella must have had some weird feet if her shoe wouldn't fit anyone else in town.

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

I wrote a book about alcohol. The first draft has been sent to my pub-lusher.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “ 69 Mating positions ”.
Turns out it was about chess.

I found a book, in my refrigerator. It's the coolest book I own.

I'm writing a kitchen based book for dumb people, it's called Counter Intelligence.

So I'm currently reading a book called 'There's a hole in my bucket!'

By Lee King.

I've just finished reading a book on DIY house construction...by Bill Jerome Holmes.

I've decided to kill off some of the characters in the book I'm writing.
It's really going to spice up my autobiography.

Why was Cinderella kicked out of the basketball team?
Because she ran away from the ball.

I wrote a book about oysters. It’s been nominated for a Pearlitzer.

I've been reading a book about superglue, I'm stuck on chapter 6.

I read another book on history of car tires. It's got me gripped

English teachers put more thought into a novel than the actual author did.

Somebody hit me with a copy of A Tale of Two Cities.
It hurt like the Dickens!

Poetry is the art of saying let’s fuck without saying let’s fuck.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise.
The librarian says, Sure, what Volume would you like?

I read a book titled 'Getting In' by Doris Open.

I once read a book titled 'Unemployment' by Anita Job.

Sherlock Holmes doesnt need to look at the TV schedules, he knows Watson.

I wrote a book about undershirts, and it’s doing very well! I’m being paid in
royal tees.

I told the librarian I was looking for information on various types of grease and lubricants.
She suggested I try nonfriction.

-How can I dry my Shakespeare doll on this washing line?
-Peg your bard on?
-I said how can I dry my Shakespeare doll on this washing line?

Quasimodo had no information, but the detective took him to a crime scene anyway. Seems he had a hunch.

I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life.
It's an oughtobiography.

I just finished reading Great Expectations.
It wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be.

The only one who ever got anything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

Snow White. Can't say fairer than that.