Random brain joke:


No brain is stronger than its weakest think.

Brain jokes collection.



Selected brain jokes:


Juicy Proverbs
● Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
● Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
● Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
● Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
● Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself.
● Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
● Education is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work.
● When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes un-wiped.
● Men play the game. Women know the score.
● Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does!
● Guys are like roses, just watch out for the pricks
● College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
● Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
● The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.
● Here is the definition of divorce, she gets the ring and the man gets the finger!
● See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
● Confucius say man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener.
● A botany student has brought to our attention the fact that penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted.


Maturity is when your brain screams "fuck you" and your fingers type "have a great day".


Information about the human brain is not always black and white. It’s really more of a gray matter.


Summoned for a brain transplant... What if I change my mind?



More brain jokes...


Information about the human brain is not always black and white. It’s really more of a gray matter.


What do you get if you dip your balls in ice cream?
Brain freeze.


Idea Formula: One man's brain plus one other will produce about one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as many.


The brain is the most outstanding organ in the body. It works 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. From birth, until you marry .


No brain is stronger than its weakest think.


Thought of the Day: Your brain is amazing organ, it starts working the moment you get up and doesn't stop until you get in the office.


FUN Fact:
A person with damage to the right brain hemisphere can develop a "joke addiction," - a compulsive need to constantly make and tell jokes.


The BRAIN ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.


I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.


See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.


If you drink enough, your brain starts photoshopping people.


Maturity is when your brain screams "fuck you" and your fingers type "have a great day".


My brain is full of ideas my body wants nothing to do with.


Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.


Brain cells die, skin cells die, even hair cells die.

But FAT CELLS… must have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior because they seem to have eternal life.


My brain surgeon botched the operation. I tried giving him a piece of my mind, but it turns out he already had one.


Summoned for a brain transplant... What if I change my mind?


Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.

Me: Thanks for reminding me.


I have a friend who is allergic to eggs, cuz it scrambles her brain and makes her skin look poached. I think the condition. Is called eggczema.


“My brain during the day: “Potato, potato, ching chong potato” – My brain during the night: “I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.”


Juicy Proverbs
● Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
● Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
● Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
● Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
● Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself.
● Without a doubt, women are the foundation stone of the society; but always remember who laid them!
● Education is like hiring a prostitute, it needs both money & hard work.
● When the toilet paper of experience is depleted, the ass of reason goes un-wiped.
● Men play the game. Women know the score.
● Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does!
● Guys are like roses, just watch out for the pricks
● College is like a woman; you work so hard to get in and nine months later you wish you'd never come.
● Whenever you feel low, depressed or useless, remember that you are the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.
● The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can't even remember her first husband.
● Here is the definition of divorce, she gets the ring and the man gets the finger!
● See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
● Confucius say man who puts hand in bush is not always a gardener.
● A botany student has brought to our attention the fact that penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted.


wo young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."
On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful How did you do it? "
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."
"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"
"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison..................


It's weird we can laugh at our own jokes. It's like one part of our brain is amused by what another part comes up with.


I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.


What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
Castrated.


Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone. 👱‍♀️




More brain jokes on the following pages...