Random math joke:

I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.

MATH jokes collection.

Selected math jokes:

What do you call a person with a compulsive need to do mathematics?


Old number theorists never die, they just get past their Prime.

I read that 10 out of 2 people are dyslexic.

She left me because I was average. Now she is telling everyone that I was mean to her.

More math jokes...

Machine learning is just statistics. On steroids. Lots and lots of steroids.

89% of the world population don't know how to calculate 89% of the world population... funny statistics.

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69 .
Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

What is 6.9??
69 ruined by a period.

What’s the square root of 69 ?
Ate something.

"Dad what is 69 ?" asks son
Dad: Well son, it a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally.
Son: So what shall I write? Odd or even.

“Dad what is 69?” asks son Dad: Well son, it a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally. Son: So what shall I write? Odd or even.

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. Eating too much pie is ok bcoz the sin of pi is always zero.

A mathematician's son asks him:" dad, what is an orgy?"
The Mathematician replies:" 230 divided by 3.3."

What did π say to i? Get real.

What did i say to π? Be rational.

Genie: You have three wishes.

Me: Nice! I wish for pie.

Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

I had to break up with my math teacher girlfriend.

She was still obsessed with an X.

The fact that there are imaginary number in math is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry about them .

I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.

Why should you wear glasses to math class? Because it helps with division.

My teacher said I’m pretty good at addition but I’m terrible at subtractions.

I don’t get the difference.

At school they taught us that XXX is Roman Numerals. I typed XXX on Google and the Romans came out naked.

If you think Pi is 3142, then you're missing the point.

After a long day teaching math the teacher couldn’t wait to get home and ditch her algebra

The Planes Indians practiced polygamy, and one chief had three squaws.
The first squaw lived in a teepee of elk hide, the second in a teepee made of buffalo hide, and the youngest in a teepee of hippopotamus hide.
Then he slept with each wife on the eve of his great hunting trip.
He was gone nine moons and when he returned, he went into the elk hide teepee and found that his wife had borne him a son. Likewise, in the buffalo hide teepee, that squaw, too, had borne him a son. So, imagine his surprise when he found twin baby boys in the hippopotamus hide teepee.
This just proves that ...

The squaw of the hippopotomus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.

Her: Could you do Polygamy?

Me: Hell no. I hated algebra in High School.

The average stripper weighs 112lbs.
According to one pole.

You wanna know what's odd?
Numbers that aren't divisible by 2.
Ugh, this joke is so bad, I can't even...

Old number theorists never die, they just get past their Prime.

I’m not an outlier; I just haven’t found my distribution yet!
(statistics fun)

What did the z distribution say to the t distribution?
You may look like me but you're not normal.
(statistics fun)

Logic is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with confidence. Statistics is a systematic method for getting the wrong conclusion with 95 percent confidence.

Statistics is the art of never having to say you're wrong.

Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
- Aaron Levenstein

To be a statistican is great! You never have to be "absolutely sure" of anything... being "reasonably certain" is enough! -
Pavel E. Guarisma

I'm starting a business to teach short people math.
It's called, "Making the little things count."

The number 7 is undereighted.

A trigonometry book has been discovered on the planet Mars. Unfortunately, there were no other sines of life.

How many months have 28 days?
All 12.

Mathematicians aren’t that smart.
They say pie are square.
When everyone knows.
Pie are round.

"I can't even" is an odd thing to say.

I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.

Is American pi different from regular pi? Asking for my circle of friends.

If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.

I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.

I once followed the sine to trigonometry island cos I wanted a tan....

Most couples have chemistry. But others must have mathematics, because they’re full of problems.

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.

I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.

y=mx+b jokes are great but at some point we’ll have to draw the line.

I had a scary joke about math but Im 2² to say it.

0 cannot be nothing cos 0 is 1.

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

Geometry was invented in the 9th century by the Angle-Saxons.

The recipe said, “3 cubed pineapples”.
I thought, “I can’t afford to get 27 pineapples!!”

There are three types of accountants: those who are good with numbers and those who are bad with numbers.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Let he who is without sin use cos or tan to calculate the side lengths of a triangle.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar.
The first orders a pint of beer. The second half a pint, the third a quarter ad infinitum. The bartender just pours two pints and says "figure it out yourselves."

Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables.

A global study reveals that #7 and #13 are the most popular favorite numbers.
Maybe it's just me but I find them...odd.

I challenged the number 1 to a fight, but he brought his friends 3,5,7, and 9.
The odds were against me.

When I studied mathematics, I decided to specialize in subtraction because I wanted to make a difference.

Q: What do you call dudes who love math?
A: Algebros.

People might think I'm a bit of a square, but that just means I'm exactly right on every angle.

I once knew what mean, median and mode meant. Now I get mean and in a bad mode if I can't even define median.

Funny how a sphere has only one side but half a sphere has two.

Witch student: Curse these fractions!
Witch math teacher: You can't hexadecimal.

A statistician drowned whilst wading across a river.
Someone told him that on average it was three feet deep.

If you have a bowl with 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have? => the 4 you took!

The statistics professor treats her students like they are indeciles or out-and-outliers.

What animal is best at math?
Rabbits, they multiply fastest!

Why is eleven not an even number even though it ends with an even.
That's odd.

What do you call a rectangle that got into an accident?
Wrecked angle.

More Math Jokes on the following pages...