Jokes that will haunt you.


Ghosts are like bad exes - they always seem to come back when you least expect it.

Ghosts are just like taxes - they haunt you even after you're dead.

I asked a ghost if it wanted to come over for a movie night, but it said it was already dead bored.

weird joke



"Ghostly giggles guaranteed.


What is the worst insult you can say to a ghost?

"Get a life!"


Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a
haunted house?

Because the ghosts will bring the boos.


Monsters don't eat ghosts because they taste like sheet.


Me: the victim is 6’1”; his body has already turned into a ghost.

Police officer: Sir, that’s just a sheet we covered the body with.


During the day I don't believe in ghosts. At night I'm more open minded.



Ghost Jokes:Where spirits have a sense of humor.


“No amount of fire or freshness can challenge what a man will store up in his ghostly heart.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby


Did you hear about the cemetery?
When it first opened, people were dying to get in, but now it’s kind of a ghost town.


I once saw a ghost made out of chocolates and vanilla.

Ice creamed.


What do ghosts call their boobies?

Paranormal Entitties.


I saw a group of ghosts at the bar tonight.

They were raising
their spirits.



Laughing in the afterlife: Ghost Jokes.


Pac-Man gave me very unrealistic expectations about my ability to run away from ghosts.


What do you call boobs on a ghost?
Nothing. Just a paranormal boobs.


My wife says she loves to be wooed so now whenever we have date night I have to dress up as a ghost.


The pottery scene from Ghost but it’s just us making guacamole.


In my version of “A Christmas Carol”, I get visited by the ghosts of hangovers past, present and future to learn the value of hydration.



Because even ghosts need a good chuckle.


I crossed a Turkey with a ghost...........
Yep you got it Poultrygeist...........


My wife loves to be wooed so whenever we have a date night I have to dress up as a ghost.


Why did the ghost go to rehab?
He couldn't handle his boo's.


Did you hear about the teenage ghost who lay on the couch all day?
It was a case of paranormal inactivity.


What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.



Ghost Jokes: Paranormal punchlines.


Why can't Ghosts have Children?
They have Hollow Weenies!

Why can't Frankenstein have Children?
His Nuts are in His Neck!


Why don't zombies eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet.


girlfriend: I'm seeing someone behind your back.
me: *believes in ghosts* is it my grandpa ?


Bought a boomerang off a ghost,
hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.


What is a ghost's favourite exercise?
Deadlifting.



Because laughter is eternal.


Not sure why anyone would move to Casper, WY.
It's a ghost town.


Q: What is a ghosts favorite position in soccer?
A: Ghoul keeper.


What do you call a ghost fart?
A spirit bomb.


What does a ghost do when he's hungry?
Go ghost-ry shopping.


There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you'd have no idea.



Ghost Jokes: Ghoulishly good laughs.


Q. What is it called when one ghost consumes another ghost?
A. Canni-boo-lism.


Ghost hunters never find ghosts because the ghosts keep ghosting them ghostily.


I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman working there if they had any ghost costumes.
She said "We don't sell those, I'm afraid."
Silly woman. They're not *that* scary....


When do flowers become ghosts? When they've rose from the dead.


My grandfather would talk to ghosts who’d tell him what size clothes to wear, he was a medium.


Boo-tifully funny: Ghost Jokes.


Side chicks are getting leftover Halloween candy for Valentine’s Day
Her:”Why u give me ghost shape candy?”
Him:”Cuz you my Boo”


Knock knock
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes the ghost of Sean Connery.


What kind of plant do ghosts like to hide behind?
BamBOO!


What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
I Scream Cake.


If you die high, do you just stay high as a ghost forever?




More ghost jokes on the following pages...