Laughing at the unexplained, because humor is our magic.
Why did the psychic go to therapy?
She had too many medium problems.
Mystery is like a mirage, the closer we get to it, the further it seems to slip away.
The greatest mystery of all is why people think they need to solve every mystery.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-20.
Uncovering the secrets of laughter, one mystical joke at a time.
Enter the realm of laughter and mystery with Mystical Jokes.
Casting spells of laughter with our mystical punchlines.
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I'm done dating demons.
They're too possessive.
What is the worst insult you can say to a ghost?
"Get a life!"
Why is it cheaper to throw a party in a
haunted house?
Because the ghosts will bring the boos.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
How do you tell if a vampire is sick?
By how much he is coffin.
Monsters don't eat ghosts because they taste like sheet.
During the day I don't believe in ghosts. At night I'm more open minded.
I once saw a ghost made out of chocolates and vanilla.
Ice creamed.
I'm psychic but I'm also a procrastinator.
I'll predict the future tomorrow, 11ish.
Did you hear the one about the haunted elevator? It was a great story; it really lifted my spirits
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
If you don’t meet the devil every now and then, you are traveling in the same direction.
I saw a group of ghosts at the bar tonight.
They were raising
their spirits.
A guy came up to me in the library & asked “ do you have a bookmark “ I said “ yes hundreds, but my name is Ed “
I visited an acupuncturist today.
When I got home, my voodoo doll was dead.
First day of my levitation course today, and I went straight to the top of the class!
You know it's time to clean the fridge when something closes the door from the inside.
Me: When one door closes, another one opens
Exorcist: You definitely have a poltergeist
What do you call a monster that does a lot of exercise?
Fit-ness
What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?
Blood hound!
I saw a yogurt floating across my kitchen. I think it might be paranormal activia.
How does a demon stay fit?
He exorcises.
I was bitten by a werewolf once.
Nothing serious.
Just enough to give me pause.
Why did the ghost go to rehab?
He couldn't handle his boo's.
Did you hear about the teenage ghost who lay on the couch all day?
It was a case of paranormal inactivity.
I asked my Ouija board if anyone has a secret crush on me. It must be broken, because I don’t even know anyone named “Lol.”
A black cat just crossed my path. I think there’s some purrinormal cativity going on or something.
Ghosts don't like rain because it dampens their spirits.
Got advice from a mystic about how to get more followers on Twitter.
What a great social medium.
Vampires are just human-sized mosquitos.
Why can't Ghosts have Children?
They have Hollow Weenies!
Why can't Frankenstein have Children?
His Nuts are in His Neck!
A psychic is buying clothes:
Employee: How about this one?
Psychic: That shirt is too small.
Employee: You didn’t even try it on.
Psychic: I’m a medium.
Did you hear about the exorcist who got arrested for handling stolen gear?
He was charged with possession.
Everyone's self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
Why don't zombies eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet.
Space could be filled with vampires, but we’d never know because telescopes use mirrors.
How does a demon stay fit?
He exorcises.
girlfriend: I'm seeing someone behind your back.
me: *believes in ghosts* is it my grandpa ?
When I get reincarnated I want to come back as expensive eye glasses, so I can make a spectacle of myself.
For all of you that believe in reincarnation..Welcome back!