Random art joke:


When asked why I became an artist I answered ‘I don’t know. I guess I was just drawn to it.’

Art jokes collection.



Selected art jokes:


Someone invited me to go see a bust of Marilyn Monroe. But it just showed her head.


Did you hear about the guy who stole all those paintings? He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed.


Q. Which painting is never happy?
A. The Moaning Lisa


An artist who is in a hurry wants to draw a tree.
So he draws a tree and leaves.



More art jokes...


How do painters swim?
They do the brush stroke.


An artist who wants to draw a tree is in a hurry, so he draws a tree and leaves.


Never trust people who draw art for a living. They are sketchy people.


Someone invited me to go see a bust of Marilyn Monroe. But it just showed her head.


My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with paint. I said "i'll get your coat"


To sell your art successfully you have to be articulate!


My heart is o pen, as I've met an artist and am really drawn to her.


I saw a horse drawn carriage yesterday.
…I didn’t know horses could draw!


Saw a guy painting pictures of bikes on a local church ceiling. Cycleangelo.


I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique.
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.


Guide: Every floor of this museum has an amazing picture painted on the wall.

Visitor: So you’re saying there’s a mural to every story?


"Have you ever had your portrait done?"

"No, but the other day I had my blood drawn."


me: somebody stole a painting. they broke in, disabled the alarm–

detective: okay I got the picture

me: whoa that was really fast


Two artists in love were drawn to each other!


Why did the artist only take showers? -They couldn’t draw a bath!


I had a great first day watching over some important, expensive China vases at the British Museum.
Smashed it.


Van Gogh chose painting over composing because he lacked an ear for music.


The Venus de Milo was a great statue, but I’m not so sure it holds up...


What do you call a colorful artist?
Peacock-so.


An artist who is in a hurry wants to draw a tree.
So he draws a tree and leaves.


I'm posing nude for an art class.
No one asked me to.
I think they're making ceramic bowls.


When asked why I became an artist I answered ‘I don’t know. I guess I was just drawn to it.’


The art teacher challenged his students to draw a parrot, but no one could pass the Polly graph test.


Baroque:
When you're out of Monet.


picasso's wife: i’m going to take a bath

picasso: what?!

picasso's wife: *sigh* ok, i’m going to ‘draw’ a bath


My friend is an artist and when she feels sad i give her my shoulder to crayon.


The sketching contest final has ended up in a draw.


This painting "The Wind In The Leaves" is from his Blew period.


I went to a museum and asked if I could take a few pictures. The guard was adamant that the pictures stay on the walls.


Just bought an original Van Gogh coffee table. I know it's original because there's a bit of veneer missing.


To trick people into thinking I understand things at an art gallery I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.


Yesterday, I was trying to draw a cube, but I had a mental block.


Why did Van Gogh become a painter?

Because he didn’t have an ear for music.. ☺️


I went into a pub, sitting in the corner was that famous painter Van Gogh.
I said “ God, I thought you were dead, can I buy you a drink”?
He said “ No thanks I’ve got one ear”!


What does a painter do when he's cold ?

Puts on another coat.


I tried the art of glass blowing but I accidentally inhaled and now I have a stomach pane.


Painter: How is my new painting of Jesus, bro...?
.
.
Friend: You nailed it, mate...!


I hate it when people pretend to be clever and talk about Mozart as if they are familiar with his painting.


Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Monet!
Monet who?
Monet doesn't grow on trees.


Q: What do you call someone hanging on a wall?
A: Art.


Q: Why was the painting arrested?
A: Because it was framed.


Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!


Q: What does a painter sing when he's in Dire Straits?
A: "Monet for Nothing".


Q. Which painting is never happy?
A. The Moaning Lisa


Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.


Q: What do you call a painting by a cat?
A: A paw-trait.


Q: Why did the artist get into an argument with the curator at the art gallery?
A: He wasn't in the right frame of mind.


Did you hear about the guy who stole all those paintings? He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed.


Q: How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?
A: With a bowl of "Surreal"


Q: What do you call a mixed media artist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.


Q: Why did the painter butter his toast with his fingers?
A: To feel its texture.


Q: What did Michelangelo say to the ceiling?
A: I got you covered.


Q: Did you hear about the artist who paints in jail?
A: He had a brush with the law.


Q: Did you here about the attempt robbery at the museum?
A: They had ran out of gas a few blocks away when the police caught them, and they said, "We didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh"


Q: Where does a cow hang his paintings?
A: In a mooooseum.


Q: Did you hear about the artist who died ?
A: Too many strokes.


Q: Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
A: Because he didn't have an ear for music.




More Jokes about art and artists on the following pages...