Tickle your nerdy side!
"Geeks are the real rockstars of our generation. They may not have groupies, but they definitely have the power to change the world."
- Kim Kardashian
Laugh Out Loud with Daily Nerd Humor on 'Tech Geek Jokes'.
What do the FBI and MS Paint have in common?
They don't support transparency.
Why can't engines remain government leaders?
Once the first revolution begins there's always thousands more.
What do you get with a nut and a building?
Walnut.
CAPTCHA: Select all tiles with chameleons.
ME: Oh no.
Old refrigerators never die, they just lose their cool!
I don't need the microphone, I'm a loudspeaker.
Today people are too dependant on technology...
"Alexa why is that?"
Accidentally replaced my halogen bulbs with hallucinogen bulbs.
My light bill seems really high.
It’s extremely rare for a defibrillator to fail, but when it does,
No One’s shocked.
Centigrade, Fahrenheit and Kelvin, I trust them all with varying degrees.
My grandfather invented the cold air balloon.
It never really got off the ground.
I'd tell you the story about the international space station but I'm sure it would probably go right over your head.
My battery died the other day. It was AA tragedy.
Unplugged the WiFi for 10 seconds and a teenager I didn't know existed appeared from one of the bedrooms to complain.
My dad wants me to change careers and become a sound technician. But I don’t one two.
Because being a geek isn't just a hobby, it's a way of life – and we're here to make it even more amusing.
Why was the cell phone wearing its glasses?
It lost its contacts.
If you cant fix it with a hammer - you got an electric problem.
FUN Fact:
The television was invented before sliced bread.
How do you make a candle burn longer? You can't, they burn shorter.
Those who don't know browser history are doomed to re-Google it.
My search history is all stupid questions I was afraid of asking other people.
I went into an electrical shop and I said, Can someone sell me a kettle?
The guy said, Kenwood?
I said, Where is he then?
Old rotary phones were much better equipped to handle drama.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, television, and tell a woman.
I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.
It improved my outlook.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Im dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
A broom is just an acoustic vacuum.
NO I’M NOT ANGRY. I’M JUST OLD AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPSLOCK ON MY NEW PHONE!
In the old west, they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night. It was the 1st form of saddle light navigation.
A farmer brought Photoshop, but couldn't crop..
Afterall it was not his field..
Tech Geek Jokes: Where Nerds Unite for Hilarious Quips!
I listen to the talk radio with such frequency that my ear Hertz.
Led Zeppelin uses 80% less energy than Incandescent Zeppelin.
I opened my water and electric bill at the same time, and boy, was I shocked...
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
Fuck flowers! Buy her batteries, they last longer.
Just worked out that a megaphone is one million million microphones.
What do conspiracy theorists and Excel have in common?
They spreadsheet.
TVs are like “am I the only one that keeps my resolution”
I'm going to re-wire my house in 2022.
That's my current plan.
How would a proud computer dad introduce his son?
A microchip off the old block.
First Rule of the Navy Boiler Tech: If all else fails, get a bigger hammer.
Mortgage: n. A device to measure the density of the people named Mort.
People love air-conditioning because it’s cool.
People hate vacuuming because it sucks.
I have a stereo to give away. I would sell it, but the bass dial doesn’t work, so it’s more treble than it’s worth.
Nobody:
Person w/ 2 Monitors: “Let me drag this over to my second monitor.”
Because geeks need a place to let their pocket protectors down and have a good laugh.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.
991: Never take rides with strangers
2021: Here is an app for taking rides with strangers
I'm "I used to burn CDs" years old.
Did you hear about the microphone checker that got really drunk? He had one two one two one two many.
The human body makes enough electricity to scream at your husband for not putting the bins out.
The company that provides my VPN is anon profit organisation.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
My email wasn't working this morning so I asked my magic 8 ball why...
It said "outlook not so good."
REALLY UPSET I lost my volume knob on my FAVORITE stereo.
I am REALLY hoping it will...turn up soon.
Made a small gesture of appreciation towards my oven the other day. It was a micro wave.
Using VPN is great until the language change to Chinese.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
How does a cell phone get drunk? It takes screenshots.
Did you hear about the microphone checker that got really drunk? He had one two one two one two many.
Find someone who cares about you as much as gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.