Random geek joke:
The movie 'Speed' didn’t have a director.
Because if speed had direction, it would have been called velocity.
Selected geek jokes:
Vacuum cleaner stopped sucked, it must have gotten married.
Bill and Melinda Gates just announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage. Unfortunately, she was tired of him being in the Office365 days a year, but at least he’ll have a new Outlook in life.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
I opened both my electric & water bills at the same time.
I was shocked.
More geek jokes...
Greggs have just announced plans to start a home delivery service using drones.
All sounds a bit pie in the sky to me...
Already chosen my new year's resolution
Any ideas on how to fix my amplifier? Feedback please.
There will be a massive confusion if Americans change from pounds to kilograms. Just weight and see.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.
Policeman: Name please?
Man: Wizard of Oz.
Policeman: your FUll name sir!
Man: (quietly) Wizard of Ounces
My missus says she wants me to give her £200 for a new satnav. She can get lost.
It really bothers me how the bishop at my church never moves diagonally.
I asked my phone "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said "I'm Alexa you moron."
Just passed this shop that sells
So I've gone in for a Closer Look.. 👀🤔
What is it with people that won’t embrace modern technology? Answers on a postcard please.
I just used the vcuum clener on my keybord. Brillint.
I recently try to hire a landscape Gardner, he said unfortunately he couldn't help as my garden was portrait.
I saved a picture of Jesus as the background for my laptop screen today...it's my screen saviour !
Recently read a book called 101 facts about binary. It was the best 5 things I ever learned.
Remember, before internet, how everybody thought the cause of dumbness was limited access to information?“
How can you tell a programmer is an extrovert? When you’re talking to him, he’s looking at your shoes.
Time is money. Therefore, ATMs are time machines.
I bought a universal remote control today. I’m kind of afraid of myself now…
Why are astronauts always so calm and efficient? Zero pressure in vacuum.
My iPod is in Titanic mode right now. It is syncing.
Stephen Hawking died. Have you tried turning him off and on again?
A superconductor comes into a bar. “Hey!” says the barkeep, “we don’t serve superconductors!” The superconductor didn’t put up any resistance.
IT paradox? - The warmer a computer becomes, the more it freezes.
Q: What happens when eight hobbits get together?
A: They turn into a hobbyte.
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant with checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.
Romantic relationships can actually be represented in algebra. You for example, have definitely at some point looked at your X and asked yourself Y.