Mystical Jokes: Unleashing the enchantment of laughter.

Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too much chance of a silver medal.

Once I almost dated a psychic girl, but she left me before we even met!

Her: are you a dog person?
Me: Werewolves aren't real, Karen.

Bought a boomerang off a ghost,
hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.

What is a ghost's favourite exercise?
Deadlifting.

What restaurants are vampires terrified to eat at?

Stake Houses.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend once. But she left me before we met.

My mate tried to show off his fortune telling skills.
He wasn't that good.
Actually he was medium.

I knew the psychic was phony the moment they took my check.

A huge article just appeared featuring Dracula's lifestyle in Daily Mail…
And yet he didn't appear in The Mirror or The Sun…

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you'd have no idea.

So I went to the doctors this morning...
I said to the receptionist: "I need to see a doctor because I've had a voodoo curse put on me".
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"Yes, he will do.", I said.

I spent my whole life being proud of my heritage, until I found out that my great grandfather was actually from Transylvania...
Now I can’t even look myself in the mirror.

Reincarnation party next week. Come as you were.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle until one of the corners mysteriously disappeared.

Why is it easy to buy clothes for psychics?

Because they're all medium.

To all the Psychics out there. You know what I think about you.

Q. What is it called when one ghost consumes another ghost?
A. Canni-boo-lism.

Ghost hunters never find ghosts because the ghosts keep ghosting them ghostily.

I went to an acupuncturist and when I got home my voodoo doll was dead.

Two psychics meet on the street. One says "lovely weather at the moment". The other says, "yes, reminds me of the summer of 2022".

When I was young I used to think I was a werewolf. But I am all right NHOOOOOOOW.

I met a time travelling lycan yesterday...he was a when-wolf!

Spoke to some scientists who were studying the odder aspects of fog. They were mystified.

Two vampires got married, but they were always at each other's throats.

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.

What’s Dracula’s favourite type of coffee? Decoffinated.

Where did young Dracula go, to learn how to write?

Pencilvania.

I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.
~ Warren Tantum...

If Mediums can communicate with the dead, imagine what a Large can do...

My grandfather would talk to ghosts who’d tell him what size clothes to wear, he was a medium.

When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.

Anything is more interesting if it’s haunted.

Ghosts like to ride in elevators because it lifts their spirits.

I've sold my Crystal Ball.
I couldn't see any Future in it.
And I'm not a Medium any more, I'm a Large..

Large crystal ball for sale. £50, but you will haggle me down to £35.

My dad just asked me, “Do you believe in ghosts?” Bit of a daft question seeing as he’s been dead ten years.

You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.

What do you call the ghost
of a chicken?

A poultry-geist!

Son: Dad is our house haunted?
Dad: May be, but Im not sure.
Son: But the maid told me last night ghosts are not real
Dad: Run, we dont have a maid.