The delightful mix of geekiness and humor.
These jokes are like lines of code that tickle your funny bone and make you burst into fits of laughter faster than a bug-free program.
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of laughter and tech-related humor, join the club and indulge in the wonderful world of programmer jokes.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-21.
1. Entering a secret club where binary becomes the new language of comedy.
Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?
Their ancestors are vi-kings.
An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."
Q: Why would you suggest programming to anyone?
A: So he/she can enjoy programming jokes & memes.
Tried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week.
Age is not a number. it's Integer.
Today I made my first Money as Programmer.
I sold my laptop.
Which way did the programmer go? He went data way.
Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.
Corona is similar to programming languages.
Every year, it evolve with new version and new features.
Advice for people wanting to start programming :
1- learn a difficult language first like html. Then python. But only learn the easy stuff
2- call your self a programmer at all times.
3- tell people you use Linux even if you don't
4- never use google as a research hub. Always ask on the groups first .
5- after you learn the easy basic post on every group who wants to learn python. People will think you are cool
6- always use ALT+F4 to test your code. But only when it's done
Follow me for more programming advice
Can someone please tell me where the 'any' key is on a keyboard??
- Why documentation is like sex?
- Every programmer want it, very few have it.
Me when working:
10% coding,
40% googling,
50% thinking how to hack NASA using Photoshop.
- First computer project that failed?
- Tower of Babel. Excellent hardware, but devs used too many languages.
- Q: What Do NASA Programmers Eat ?
-
-
-
_
Launch.
2. Witnessing a symphony of nerdy wit.
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.
That was a trip down memory lane.
In the binary world, a scale of 1 to 10 doesn't give you many options.
What’s a bad wizard’s favorite computer program? Spell-check.
If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
"What's the wifi password?"
"snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs"
"Why is the password so long?"
"It said it requires 8 characters..."
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1's and 0's 10) There are no 2's
What do you call a computer smoking weed?
High tech.
How does a computer learn new things?
Bit by bit.
Q: What does javascript call his son?
A: JSON 😬
What does a programmer and a bank robber have in common?
To fix the problem, sometimes you gotta flush the cache.
What's a programmers favorite beat?
An algo-rhythm!
If you want a successful relationship then... make sure you have foreign key in second table
All my passwords are protected...
...by amnesia.
Why are linux geeks very introverted?
Because they never come out of their shell.
3. The perfect blend of wit and geekiness.
Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?
/ussr/bin/
I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect...
Then they fried me for no raisin....
Programming is not learning to code, it's starting to code.
A: Comments explain code to other programmers.
B: Code explains the comments to the computer.
Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.'
'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
A kid who just learnt alphabet must look at keyboard and think adults are idiots.
My email password got hacked again.
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I had an E mail off Google saying they could read maps backwards. I thought that's spam.
Why do java developers wear glasses ?
Because
They can't C#
😂
My favourite computer passwords are "Footloose" and "Highway to the Danger Zone".
I really like Kenny Logins.
~Enter new password.
- 'chicken'
~Password must contain at least one capital
- chicken kiev
I was having trouble with my laptop, so I called the Currys PC helpline.
He said, 'Have you tried disabling cookies?'
I said, 'Well, I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man'.
You can't use "beefstew" as a password.
It's not stroganoff
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
4. The binary ballet that only the tech-savvy truly appreciate.
How they code Google without Google ? 😁
Got a divorce and my ex got half of my GitHub.
I am declaring a war.
var war;
Did you know?
In an IT company, the more you do nothing, the more you get paid.
When you excel they spreadsheet about u.
Finally, I fixed 2 bugs out of 5, 7 more to go.
I set my WiFi password to 2444666668888888, so when someone asks me what my password is, I just tell them it's: 12345678.
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
I have a C joke you cannot object it.
I have a node Joke but I cannot express it.
I have a HTTP joke but it is not secure. 😀
Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
Q. What's an astronaut's favorite social media website?
A. MySpace.
I have an HTTP joke, if I POST it you cannot GET it.
- Three biggest achievements of computer science?
- Turing machine, StackOverflow and syntax highlighting.