Grammar Nazi Jokes: Delight in Comedic Linguistic Gems.

Why does You begin with a Y & Why with a W? 🤔

If you identify a UFO as a UFO, then it becomes an FO. Unless it has landed, then it is simply an O.

You can remove any one letter from the word "seat" and still end up with a real word.

There are two typos of people in the world.

Those who always notice spelling mistakes, and those who don't.

Auto correct ain't nothing to duck with.

The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it.
Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.

Bad spellers of the world.....untie.

Why can’t cyclops spell Hawaii?
Because you need two eyes Глаза

I'm starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I'll never ever use one again. I'm so excited about it. Yes.

Texting typos can change your life.

"Having a great time wish you were her"

I won't have anything against the English language the day they find 'J' in SOLDIER.

What is the center of Gravity? The letter V.

Neither see nor sea has a C in it, but I can see both the C and the sea. However, I can’t see, but eye can see.

Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.

When you write misspelled backwards it's misspelled.

I hate it when people don't know the difference between Ur and U'r.

Some people think I shouldn’t worry about how paragraphs are aligned, but I think it’s justified.

I used to think "caesarean" was spelt with an S until I looked in the dictionary and found it in the C section.

He was put on trial by the Grammar Police and received a run-on sentence.

The amount of people who confuse ‘to’ and ‘too’ is amazing two me.

It makes me very uncomfortable that the word "Australia" contains three A's and all of them are pronounced differently.

What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

Genie: What is your final wish?
Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.

They say a QUEUE is just a Q, followed by four silent letters...
But, they're just waiting their turn.

I feel like as if for what that I sometimes but not all the time I use too many words in a sentence that I don’t really necessarily have to or need to.

'Sugar'
is the only english word where 's' is pronounced as 'sh'...
I'm quite sure.

What's the best letter to have in summer? Iced T.

If you need help with English,
I'm hear!

Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

I am the bestest at the English language.

Friend: I think you have a problem with overusing contractions.
Me: It’s what it’s.

Houses should be referred to in the feminine, because they all have address.

If you take the R out of varnish, it mysteriously vanishes.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

P.
It's like R, but missing a leg.

Some people claim that in the English language, the letter “y” can be used as a vowel; but that's a myth.

what do letters drink?
t

When someone told me Scandinavian languages don't have the letter R, I immediately thought:
No way.

DO YOU KNOW which 5 letter word becomes SHORTER when you ADD 2 letters to it? ..... short

The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.

Anyone who can spell the word drawer backwards...
Will get a reward.

I don't understand when people say 'age is just a number'... Age is clearly a word.

"Boyfriend" and "boy friend": you see a little space, that's called the friend zone.

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

" I think people who use the wrong word should have the humidity to admit it"...

What's the opposite of 'belittle'?

Be large.

Seriously trying to determine how “b” worked its way into the middle of doubt.

I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...

...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...

how do you calm and upset english teacher?
there, their, they're

Is just one E or both E’s in “bee” silent?

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.

AKA is also known as also known as.

I fell into a deep hole. As I was falling I saw a giant letter 'A', and then a letter 'E', and then an 'I'. I thought, "Oh no! I'm falling into the vowels of the earth...."

Why was the student confused when he went from English class to math class? Because he was taught that a double negative in English is bad, but in math, it’s a positive.

I before E except after C also except for when you run a feisty heist on foreign neighbors who are atheists reinventing protein at their leisure.

What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar?
There, their, they’re.

Here's one for you, how many pedantic grammar police does it take to change a light bulb?
Too !

In the word ‘laughter’, the letter L comes first.
The rest of the others come aughter it.

I hate it when people say age is only a number.
Age is clearly a word!

Who put semen in the basement?
I don't know. That's just the way it's spelled.

I've just heard the inventor of predictive text is I'll. I hope he gets we'll soon.

"Wyoming"

The "w" is definitely silent.

How do you titillate an ocelot ?

Oscillate its tits a lot .

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet.

A semicolon got arrested.

It got 2 back to back sentences.

What do you call a nun standing on her head?
An unu.

The fact that disappointing is not the opposite of appointing is quite disappointing.

I stay awake at night wondering why monosyllabic has 5 syllables.

What's the best part of a waffle?
The w.
Without it it's just awful.

Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.

Can anyone please define the word concise ? Be short,brief and on point.

To spell PANDA, you need just P AND A.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

How to make Easter easier - replace the t with an i.

It makes me very uncomfortable that the word "Australia" contains three A's and all of them are pronounced differently.

If you ever think English is not a strange language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme. and neither do read and lead.