Literature Jokes: Laugh Your Way Through Classic Tales.

“All poets write bad poetry. Bad poets publish them, good poets burn them.”
Umberto Eco

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk.

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

I recently bought a manual on philosophy.
But Immanuel Kant explain it properly.

Bell, Bark and Kennel, a novel by Ivan Pavlov, chronicles the birth of the Salivation Army.

I've taken up speed reading.
Last night i read Harry Potter in 20 seconds.
I know its only 2 words but its a start.

The library book that was left outside overnight is now over dew.

I wrote a book about basements.
It made the Best Cellars list.

What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe as he was walking into a tree?

Poe a tree.

Teacher: Can anyone give me a concise summary of Lord of The Rings?
Johnny: Small people return stolen jewellery.

Why was Dr Watson so smart?? He was Holmes schooled.

Just finished reading a book called 'The Amazing Basement'.
It's a Best Cellar.

Just fell off the ladder while I was dusting my bookshelf, taking all my Charles Dickens novels with me.

I've fallen on hard times...

BREAKING. Little Red Riding Hood has been found in a critical condition. Paramedics have stabilised her...

But she's not out of the woods yet!

The Hunchback of Notre Dame retired today.
He received two years back pay, a lump sum, and a case of Bells.

" We are writers, my love.
We don't cry, we bleed on papers."

A prospective husband goes into a book shop “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.

I used to be a bookworm.
Then I discovered books on tape.
Now I'm a tapeworm.

I just finished a book on Stockholm syndrome. It was awful at first, but by the end, I kind of loved it.

I'm reading a romantic book in braille, its a touching story.

I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig,they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

Why does Hamlet take so long in the bathroom? Because he can't decide to pee, or not to pee.

If Henry Ford wrote a book, I’m sure it would be an auto-biography.

Every book you read is just a remix of the dictionary.

I was in a psychiatric hospital once, visiting. One of the patients recognized me:
“You're Charles Bukowski, aren't you?” he asked.
He read all my books. Maybe that's why he was there.

'You go on ahead. I'll catch you up.' is Agatha Christie for 'I'm going to stay here and get murdered.'.

I read a book called The Swimming Pool. It started out rather shallow but had a very deep end.

Librarian: Can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
Librarian: Being psychic?
Me: No...
Librarian: One day that will work.

Shakespeare walks into a bar!
Landlord says
"Get out ya bard".

The Main difference between a horror novel, and a graveyard? One has more plots.

I wrote a book about all the things that I ought to do before I die. I call it "My Oughtabiography."

I can’t stop eating Dostoevsky novels. I’m a glutton for Crime and Punishment.

Just finished reading a book on Lubricants.

It was non-friction.

If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.

Last night I read War and Peace in 20 seconds.
I know it's only three words, but it's a start.

Would a book club in prison be called prose and cons?

I was shopping at a book store today and asked a clerk where to find Dante’s “Inferno”.

He told me to go to Hell.

Prison libraries have their prose
and cons.

How do you start a book about ducks?
With an introducktion.

I've just started reading a book about Fort Knox...

but I'm finding it really hard to get into!!.. ☺️