Literature Jokes: Laugh Your Way Through Classic Tales.

I just read a book on ropemaking, there's a real twist at the end!..

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”

Cinderella has just been dropped from our local Ladies Rugby team - she kept running away from the ball.

I asked the librarian If they had any books on different Noise levels.
The librarian says, "Sure, what volume would you like?".

How do you start a book about ducks?

With an introducktion.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.

The barman asks, "Olive or twist?"

Penguin books seem to only publish extremist literature...
For them, everything is just black and white.

At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around.

Then IT hit me!

I asked the librarian for a books on Frank Sinatra. She said "we've got a few...but then again...to few to mention."

Went into the library this morning and I asked the woman there for a book about turtles. 'Hardback?' she asked. I nodded 'Yeah, and little heads.

Robinson Crusoe had every weekend off. All his work was done by Friday.

I'm ambivalent about Mongolian literature.
It has its prose and Khans.

This is what I learned from Russian Literature
Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island

If they were French then they would have a "menage a trois" and get along just fine.

If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce.

And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.

Why did Hitler fail literature class?
He was anti-semantic.

A long time ago, I had a job where I translated pre-classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.

What's a car's favorite genre of literature?
An auto-biography!

What did the Australian teacher say to his talkative literature class
Excuse me everyone please stop Tolkien.

Literature professor: "Why can't Severus Snape be a herbology teacher?"
Student A: "Because he can't keep the Lillies alive."
Student B: "Maybe he didn't put them in the right Potter?"

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.

DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin! DORIAN: Can I hide it? DEVIL: Well, yes, but— DORIAN: And there are no other consequences? DEVIL: This… This picture will become so foul! DORIAN: Again, probably I’ll hide the picture.

Why did Shakespeare only write in pen?
He couldn’t decide which type of pencil to use—a 2B or not 2B.

Did you hear about Jay Gatsby’s new car?
It was a real hit with the ladies.

Why did the reader give up on Pride and Prejudice?
The characters were too Austentatious.

What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels?
A Brontësaurus.

What would you find in Charles Dickens’s pantry?
The best of thyme, the worst of thyme.

How did Charlotte Brontë make it easier for everyone to breathe?
She created Eyre.