Literature Jokes: Laugh Your Way Through Classic Tales.

- The last book I read was by George Orwell.
- 1984?
- No, last week.

Read what you love until you love to read.

I asked the librarian if she had a book about Pavlov’s dog and Schrödinger’s cat.

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.

Know what ya get when ya throw a lot of books in the ocean?

A title wave!

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the Scholastic book fair.

Welcome to Book Binding Club.
Please make yourself a tome.

“The Life and Times of Ivan Pavlov” by Isabelle Ringing

John’s “History of Poltergeists” is flying off the shelves.

Cinderella must have had some weird feet if her shoe wouldn't fit anyone else in town.

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

I wrote a book about alcohol. The first draft has been sent to my pub-lusher.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “ 69 Mating positions ”.
Turns out it was about chess.

I found a book, in my refrigerator. It's the coolest book I own.

I'm writing a kitchen based book for dumb people, it's called Counter Intelligence.

So I'm currently reading a book called 'There's a hole in my bucket!'

By Lee King.

I've just finished reading a book on DIY house construction...by Bill Jerome Holmes.

I've decided to kill off some of the characters in the book I'm writing.
It's really going to spice up my autobiography.

Why was Cinderella kicked out of the basketball team?
Because she ran away from the ball.

I wrote a book about oysters. It’s been nominated for a Pearlitzer.

I've been reading a book about superglue, I'm stuck on chapter 6.

I read another book on history of car tires. It's got me gripped

English teachers put more thought into a novel than the actual author did.

Somebody hit me with a copy of A Tale of Two Cities.
It hurt like the Dickens!

Poetry is the art of saying let’s fuck without saying let’s fuck.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on different levels of noise.
The librarian says, Sure, what Volume would you like?

I read a book titled 'Getting In' by Doris Open.

I once read a book titled 'Unemployment' by Anita Job.

Sherlock Holmes doesnt need to look at the TV schedules, he knows Watson.

I wrote a book about undershirts, and it’s doing very well! I’m being paid in
royal tees.

I told the librarian I was looking for information on various types of grease and lubricants.
She suggested I try nonfriction.

-How can I dry my Shakespeare doll on this washing line?
-Peg your bard on?
-I said how can I dry my Shakespeare doll on this washing line?

Quasimodo had no information, but the detective took him to a crime scene anyway. Seems he had a hunch.

I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life.
It's an oughtobiography.

I just finished reading Great Expectations.
It wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be.

The only one who ever got anything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

Snow White. Can't say fairer than that.

I'm reading a book called 'There's a hole in my bucket!'
By Lee King.

If anyone wants to enrich their wealth, please get a copy of the new book on finance out on the market called "HOW TO MAKE MONEY FAST by ROBIN BANKS.

FUN Fact:
J.K. Rowling was the first person to ever become a billionaire from writing books.

Poetry is the art of saying let’s fuck without saying let’s fuck.

Fan (?): "I read your new book. Who wrote it for you?"
Author: "Who read it to you?"

Kinda rude that books come in volumes when librarians hate sound.

Great Eggspectations. A classic novel by Charles Chickens.

I like reading books with female protagonists. I’m a heroine addict.

Reading this fabulous book called “The Irish Dentist” by Perry O’Donnel. Forward by Ginger Vitis.

What is Daniel Defoe's favorite day of the week? Friday.

I just got done reading a book about podiatry. The footnotes were incredible

Reading is like being in the shower.
Don't wanna start and don't wanna stop.

I was raised by books. Books, and then my parents.
- Elon Musk

Did I tell you all I have a book coming out soon.??.

Really shouldn't have eaten it in the first place ..

I'm sure I saw the Hunchback of Notre Dame yesterday...

If it wasn't him, it was a dead ringer.

I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.
The first page says, “You’re not helping!”

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Just bought Joan of Arc’s autobiography. I managed to get a singed copy.

I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubricants were.

She told me they were in the non-friction section.

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but in the end I kind of liked it.

Dad listen, I'm Sherlock Holmes new sidekick.

You're what son?

I've just finished reading the dictionary.
Turns out the zebra did it.

I visited Charles Dickens house of
birth.
His kitchen spice rack had the best of thymes and the worst of thymes.

I've been patiently waiting to get a book on how to commit suicide from the library but the last guy still hasn't brought it back.

I saw a list of 100 books you must read before you die, so as long as I avoid reading them I’ll live forever.