The delightful mix of geekiness and humor.
These jokes are like lines of code that tickle your funny bone and make you burst into fits of laughter faster than a bug-free program.
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of laughter and tech-related humor, join the club and indulge in the wonderful world of programmer jokes.
Entering a secret club where binary becomes the new language of comedy.
If SQL is the Sequel, what came before it?
Why didn't the <div> get invited to the formal party?
Because it had no class!
What do software and churches have in common? First we build them, then we pray.
- Elon Musk
$ pip install commonsense
What is System32 and where can I find the other 31 Systems?
"What one programmer can do in one month, two programmers can do in two months."
- Fred Brooks
"The best programs are the ones written when the programmer is supposed to be working on something else."
– Melinda Varian
How many boolean developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Yes.
Never judge a developer by things they say while debugging.
"Clean code always looks like it was written by someone who cares."
– Michael Feathers
Why don't keyboards sleep?
Because they have two shifts!
How does a graphic designer like their coffee?
#000000.
What do you call a mouse that swears?
A cursor.
Why do single people dislike Git so much?
Because they're afraid to commit.
What happens in your search history should stay in your search history.
Witnessing a symphony of nerdy wit.
Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?
/ussr/bin/
Does GitHub uses GitHub to build GitHub?
And most importantly, can GitHub rollback GitHub to fix GitHub when GitHub is down?
Linux isn't magic, it's sudo science.
I Like My Password Like I Like My Potatoes.
Hashed And Salted.
What happened to the data scientist who went too long to the gym?
Overfitting...
Python is just a HTML that went to a private school. . .
- Excuse me sir, we have a dress code here.
- I work in IT
- carry on
Why do laptops overheat when they have windows ?
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.
I tried to learn PHP once.
Worst 2 minutes of my life.
Web sites use cookies to improve performance. Same with me.
git commit -m "this better fucking work this time"
Illegal IT pro tip:
The harder it is for others to understand your code, the harder it is to replace you.
I don't always have time to write documentation, but when I do, I still don't.
"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity." – Dennis Ritchie
The perfect blend of wit and geekiness.
SELECT FINGER FROM HAND WHERE ID=3
Recruiter: So why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
Dev: I want to be a señor developer.
Linux was originally made for personal use and not corporate companies, that is why it has /home but no /office.
There's two kinds of people: Those who always use dark mode, and those who are wrong.
"If the Job won't go to the Data Scientist, then the Data Scientist must come to the Job."
-- popular saying
A programmer's wife tells him:
"while you are at the store,get some milk".
He Never Comes Back.
Programming is 10% writing code and 90% understanding why it’s not working.
If you don't know what recursion is, go back and reread this.
Pro tip: People give you their money if you call linear algebra "artificial intelligence"
ChatGPT is a woman because she know everything and she's always right.
Behind every great ML model, there is an even greater training dataset.
"The best error message is the one that never shows up."
- Thomas Fuchs
Did you know Harry Potter is a developer?
He is fluent in python.
Linux isn't free.
You have to pay attention.
Q: What's the difference between git and github?
A: It's the difference between porn and pornhub.
The binary ballet that only the tech-savvy truly appreciate.
What's JavaScript's son's name?
JSON .
She's Not Just SQL.
She's MySQL.
I am single because i believed java is better than python.
How is a system update similar to cumming?
If you don't do them for a while, both just happen when you sleep.
Don't date JavaScript developers. They'll take your number and never CALLBACK.
How do you seduce a female programmer?
1: Be proficient in Python;
2: Have a big python.
Due to COVID19, all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.
"Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray."
- Sam Redwine
What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?
He troubleshat.
Linux problems? Be root!
Windows problems? Reboot!
MacOS problems? Rebuy!
Surgeons that install butt implants are technically backend developers.
If you ever feel useless, remember that there's GUI client for Git.
"Nobody here touched anything..."
-Lying Ass End Users
A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
How does everyone pronounce router?
Is it router or router?