The delightful mix of geekiness and humor.
These jokes are like lines of code that tickle your funny bone and make you burst into fits of laughter faster than a bug-free program.
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of laughter and tech-related humor, join the club and indulge in the wonderful world of programmer jokes.
Entering a secret club where binary becomes the new language of comedy.
How does a graphic designer like their coffee?
#000000.
What do you call a mouse that swears?
A cursor.
Why do single people dislike Git so much?
Because they're afraid to commit.
What happens in your search history should stay in your search history.
Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?
/ussr/bin/
Does GitHub uses GitHub to build GitHub?
And most importantly, can GitHub rollback GitHub to fix GitHub when GitHub is down?
Linux isn't magic, it's sudo science.
I Like My Password Like I Like My Potatoes.
Hashed And Salted.
What happened to the data scientist who went too long to the gym?
Overfitting...
Python is just a HTML that went to a private school. . .
- Excuse me sir, we have a dress code here.
- I work in IT
- carry on
Why do laptops overheat when they have windows ?
I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.
I tried to learn PHP once.
Worst 2 minutes of my life.
Web sites use cookies to improve performance. Same with me.
Witnessing a symphony of nerdy wit.
git commit -m "this better fucking work this time"
Illegal IT pro tip:
The harder it is for others to understand your code, the harder it is to replace you.
I don't always have time to write documentation, but when I do, I still don't.
"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity." – Dennis Ritchie
SELECT FINGER FROM HAND WHERE ID=3
Recruiter: So why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
Dev: I want to be a señor developer.
Linux was originally made for personal use and not corporate companies, that is why it has /home but no /office.
There's two kinds of people: Those who always use dark mode, and those who are wrong.
"If the Job won't go to the Data Scientist, then the Data Scientist must come to the Job."
-- popular saying
A programmer's wife tells him:
"while you are at the store,get some milk".
He Never Comes Back.
Programming is 10% writing code and 90% understanding why it’s not working.
If you don't know what recursion is, go back and reread this.
Pro tip: People give you their money if you call linear algebra "artificial intelligence"
ChatGPT is a woman because she know everything and she's always right.
Behind every great ML model, there is an even greater training dataset.
The perfect blend of wit and geekiness.
"The best error message is the one that never shows up."
- Thomas Fuchs
Did you know Harry Potter is a developer?
He is fluent in python.
Linux isn't free.
You have to pay attention.
Q: What's the difference between git and github?
A: It's the difference between porn and pornhub.
What's JavaScript's son's name?
JSON .
She's Not Just SQL.
She's MySQL.
I am single because i believed java is better than python.
How is a system update similar to cumming?
If you don't do them for a while, both just happen when you sleep.
Don't date JavaScript developers. They'll take your number and never CALLBACK.
How do you seduce a female programmer?
1: Be proficient in Python;
2: Have a big python.
Due to COVID19, all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.
"Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray."
- Sam Redwine
What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?
He troubleshat.
Linux problems? Be root!
Windows problems? Reboot!
MacOS problems? Rebuy!
Surgeons that install butt implants are technically backend developers.
The binary ballet that only the tech-savvy truly appreciate.
If you ever feel useless, remember that there's GUI client for Git.
"Nobody here touched anything..."
-Lying Ass End Users
A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
How does everyone pronounce router?
Is it router or router?
How do you eat a hard drive?
One byte at a time!
I've got no home, no control, and no escape.
Guess it's time for me to get a new keyboard.
Junior developer: There's a bug in my code, Please help me.
Senior developer: (looks at the code) You are the bug.
Went for a job as network engineer. Working for a company that tracked sex offenders. They asked, 'What is a VPN?'. With hindsight visible panty nickers was not a good answer.
SELECT * FROM PEOPLE WHERE SOMEONE LIKE YOU
What happens when a computer is crossed with a ballet dancer?
The Netcracker suite.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking.
Baby are you a SQL database? cause I wanna INSERT some data into you!
Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it...
One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
Don’t take a computer on a road trip, it’ll be a hard drive.
Life is too short to code in C++.