The delightful mix of geekiness and humor.
These jokes are like lines of code that tickle your funny bone and make you burst into fits of laughter faster than a bug-free program.
So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of laughter and tech-related humor, join the club and indulge in the wonderful world of programmer jokes.
Entering a secret club where binary becomes the new language of comedy.
It's actually bad luck to say MacBook inside an office. You have to call it 'The Scottish Laptop'
The computer can beat me at maths but I can put the computer in the trash.
Declare var
Not
WAR
Which language does God code in?
C
Because God Cs everything.
I like to watch F5, it’s like F1 but more refreshing.
I put some horns on my laptop because it needed more ram!
Sometimes I wish there was a backspace key for my mouth.
As an IT person, I rarely know how to fix your issue… I’m just better at Google than you are.
I have a PHP joke; but I am afraid that if I "POST" it, you won't "GET" it
Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
If there's one software you used the most but didn't pay for, what was it and why is it Winrar?
The box said 'Requires Windows 10 or better'.
So I installed Linux.
If my 'life' was a variable then I would take 'you' as the constant.
The H in programming stands for happiness.
“This one I’ll definitely remember.”
*Me creating a new password*
Witnessing a symphony of nerdy wit.
Data science be like:
5% coding.
95% waiting for your code to finish running.
My laptop is cold.
I think I left windows open.
I’m trying my hand at computer hacking, but I think I need a larger machete.
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
I'm addicted to pressing the F1 key on my computer. I'm trying to get help.
I’ve been working on a fitness app for insects.
I’m still trying to work out the bugs.
How does a nonbinary samurai kill people?
They slash them.
How much memory does a mountain goat have?
About 4 legs of RAM.
If you hold the Unix shell up to your ear...
You hear the C.
He: You are the ';' to my code.
She: I code in Python.
I've created a writing software to rival microsoft.
It’s their Word against mine.
“ Code is like humor. When you have to explain it, it’s bad.”
3 Rules of Programmer:
1.If your code works don't touch it.
2.If your code works don't touch it.
3.If your code works don't touch it.
Did you know?
Stack overflow developers
Developed the stack overflow without the help of stack overflow.
Q: Why was the computer so tired after his road trip?
A: He had a hard drive.
The perfect blend of wit and geekiness.
She: My boyfriend is a programmer he will hack your world into Oblivion.
The boyfriend: How to declare variable in HTML.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
"Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh only 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, 1949
BEHIND every successful programmer
There is no girlfriend.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?
The “H” in “PROGRAMMER” stands for Happiness.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
I do my best proofreading after I hit 'send'.
Teacher: anyone with a red pen?
Programmer: from stationery import red pen.
I told someone a JavaScript Joke today. He did not React.
How did the hacker escape the police?
He just ransomware.
Spiders are the only web developers in the world that enjoy finding bugs.
Random pick up lines : I usually call APIs but if you give me your number, I might call you.
Why are programmers confused by Christmas and Halloween?
Because DEC(25) = OCT(31).
The binary ballet that only the tech-savvy truly appreciate.
I used my girlfriend's name as a variable in my code, she broke up with me.
Why did C++ refuse to go out with C?
Because C is classless.
I only code 3 days a week: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow.
- All Programmers
"You don't become a good developer , you just become good at debugging with time"
🧒: will you marry me??💍💎
👧: Noway
🧒: sudo will you marry me
If you kill a killer, the number of killer remains the same. So the trick is to kill the killer and then kill yourself.
Follow me for more algorithemic solutions.
Why do software developers always say 'it works on my machine'?
It's a regular expression.
Many CIO's favourite band is the Black IPs.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Missing semicolon
On line 32.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what his favorite version of Windows was he replied,
"I still love Vista baby".
It's a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors.
Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?
Their ancestors are vi-kings.
An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."
Q: Why would you suggest programming to anyone?
A: So he/she can enjoy programming jokes & memes.
Tried changing my password to "14days" but it was two week.