Where Wit and Science Collide!
Now, before we get too carried away with scientific hilarity, let's remember that these jokes are meant to lighten the mood and bring a smile to our faces. They remind us that even in the world of equations and experiments, laughter is the universal language.
Just remember to keep your safety goggles on and your lab coat buttoned up, because in the world of science jokes, the laughter is highly contagious, and the fun is exponential!
Let your inner nerd shine.
I wanted to date an anthropologist but she had too many bones in her closet.
Have you ever used a telescope before? If not, you should really look into it.
How do physicists measure lumber?
Planck length.
I had a dream last night I was weightless
Then I went like 0mg ...
Lava is the hipster of geology. It knew how to rock before it was cool.
A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
A Pig without 3,14 is 9,8.
25 PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS
1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
Two wrongs don’t make a right but two rights can make an aeroplane.
Measurement Humor:
Ratio of igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarse power
Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon
365 days drinking lo-cal beer = 1 lite year
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton
10 rations = decoration
2 doctors = paradox
Time between slipping and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Scientist: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."
Media: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."
How did the scientist feel when he had to measure in centimeters instead of inches?
Defeated.
I'm kinda apprehensive to share this chemistry joke!
I don't think I'll get the right reaction...😏
I can never remember what chloroform smells like 👃
Did you know that protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were catholic.
Warning: May cause explosive laughter reactions!
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake. 🍰
Little Tony took a drink, But he will drink no more, For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4 ⚗️
Astronomers recently discovered a crack in uranus. 🛸
My buddy asked me if I have any jokes about Sodium Hypobromite
I said NaBrO.
Why was the beaker so smart? It was graduated. 🧪
A balloonist offered me Helium,how noble of him.
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one.
But the light bulb has to want to change...💡
Astronomers got tired of watching the Moon go around the Earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day! 🌘
Ants have colonies on all continents except Antarctica, the only continent with the word "ant" in it. 🐜
Before Einstein discovered relativity what did we call our family members?
"I know of only two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity..... and I'm uncertain about the universe".
Albert Einstein
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love” - Albert Einstein
If a king farts..
Is it a noble gas? 🧬
If I had to rate our solar system, I’d give it just one star., ✳️
My friend tried to explain electricity to me and I was like, "Watt?" ⚡💡🔌
Warning: the laughter is positively electrifying!
What did they call the kangaroo that was a certified genius?
A quantum leap!
Two sodium atoms together make a fish . 2Na 🐟
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Me: I feel numb.
Mathematician: I feel number.
Book now for the lecture on the expanding universe because space is limited. 🌌
I was going to post a joke about alzheimer's but I umm.....😕
Did you hear about the biology department that eliminated their fungal research?
They didn't have much room for it. 🍄
Seven has "even" in it
Yeah, so?
That's odd. 7️⃣
What do you do with a dead chemist? ... you Barium.
Q, what does 2 say to 3 when they see 6 behaving like an idiot
A, "don't mind him he is just the product of our times"
People who can’t distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can’t put into words.
Dad! I know it’s a complex subject but can you explain a solar eclipse to me?
No son.
Science is nothing but a group of atoms trying to understand itself 🔬
Algebra was easy for the Romans.
X was always 10. 🤞
Very Important Person without Six is just Person.
Warning: atoms of comedy are constantly in motion and colliding to create hilarious reactions!
TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT BUT TWO WRIGHTS CAN MAKE A PLANE. ✈
why is 6 afraid of 7,
Cause 7 8 9
7️⃣
It was today that I learned AM radio also works at night.
📺
Female without male is just an Iron. 😎
I had a dream I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I was like, 0mg...🗿
What is 1000 ×3000 ÷ 3?
The winner gets 1 million 🤓
I cracked a joke about chemistry and there was no reaction.
🙂
SIX without S is 9. 🕕
I made a joke about chemistry but there was no reaction !! 🧪
Coconuts are mammals because they have fur and produce milk. Change my mind. 🥥
Guess what proton said to the Electron
Well, nothing much ... He just asked him why he's always negative and pessimistic.
Small girls are hot because they are closer to the Earth's core.
Change my mind.
August without 'gust' is pure gold! !!
I told Oxygen , Bromine,Hydrogen and Sodium to fight . They were like “NaH BrO”. 🤔