Random geek joke:
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn't do anything except send me notices that there's a new version of itself.
Selected geeky jokes:
More geek jokes...
The three laws of Engineering:
1. Always use the right tool for the job.
2. A hammer is the right tool for any job.
3. Anything can be used as a hammer.
If you have never wrote “boobies” on a calculator well then my friend, you’re to young for us to hangout.
Electric vehicle owners should ONLY be allowed to charge their cars using wind and solar power, otherwise it's just pretend.
During sexual intercourse Jimmy suddenly stops and becomes motionless..
Girl: What the heck are you doing??
Jimmy: I have seen this on adult porn sites, it's called "buffering"
So I got asked today:
“Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?”
I said: “Obviously a lift engineer.”
My wife told me to stop making camera puns. I told her to stop focusing on the negatives and develop a sense of humour.She left me in a flash.
The first tv came out. Guy asks "what are the chances I can change channels from across the room?"
Salesman says "remote".
My biggest fear of self driving cars is that if I would die on the way to work the car would still drive me there.
I just renewed my CPR Certificate.
I learned it is rare that a Defibrillator malfunctions!
But when it does no one is Shocked!
I have always wondered why Lemonade is made with artificial flavors --and Furniture polish is made with real lemons.
If youve never rewound a cassette tape with your finger, you have no right to complain about buffering.
“Unfortunately, humans have a long history of trying to fix their engineering mistakes with more engineering mistakes!”
“Chemical engineers build the rocket fuel. Electrical engineers build the guidance system. Nuclear engineers build the payload. Environmental engineers clean it up.”
“The fewer moving parts, the better. Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering.”
“Majors in mechanical engineering, talks down to civil engineering friends about how easy their major is.”
“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”