Where Wit and Science Collide!
Now, before we get too carried away with scientific hilarity, let's remember that these jokes are meant to lighten the mood and bring a smile to our faces. They remind us that even in the world of equations and experiments, laughter is the universal language.
Just remember to keep your safety goggles on and your lab coat buttoned up, because in the world of science jokes, the laughter is highly contagious, and the fun is exponential!
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-23.
1. Let your inner nerd shine.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
I've just seen a paleontologist sat in a bar talking to a piece of coal. He must be carbon dating.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I make terrible chemistry puns, but only periodically.
An earthquake is a dish best served on tectonic plates.
Why do black holes enjoy karaoke?
'Cause they love the sing-hilarity.
My very favorite dishes are all cooked with petroleum byproducts. I guess you could say I have refined taste.
Q: Why is combining a proton and an electron to make a neutron so popular?
A: It’s free of charge.
How did the nucleus escape from prison?
Through the cell wall.
Chemically speaking, the only difference between male and Female is an iron.
What did the science book say to the math book before their break up?
“I’m incomplete without you but you’ve got too many problems and no chemistry”
Remove all electrons from your mind this year, in other words, stay positive.
Q: Why is the dieting advice to “eat light” so dangerous?
A: That’s how you become a black hole.
I think it's a disgrace on society and our education system when after 50 years, most people have no idea who Neil Armstrong is.
.
Or what kind of trumpet he played.
Do you know what makes me smile? - My facial muscles.
2. Warning: May cause explosive laughter reactions!
After graduating high school,
I went to medical school
And on the first day, at the entrance we were asked to rearrange the word #PNEIS to form the name of the most important body part.
.
.
Let me just say that those who spelt #spine are now medical doctors and those who spelt p*nis were sent home.
What to do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium.
If anyone asks what’s my favorite food my reply will be, carbon based. Anything else just doesn’t go down right.
Q: What are the primary elements of a sense of humor?
A: Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium. Otherwise known as SArCaSm.
Schrodinger: *handing box to wife* I got you something
Wife: aw, you’re so good to me!
Schrodinger: maybe
Q: Why is so hard to wake up in the morning?
A: Newton’s First Law: A body at rest wants to stay at rest.
Orions belt is a real waist of space...
I know this is a bad joke. I only give it 3 stars
If I had to rate our solar system I’d give it one star.
I saw two identical twin young ladies both wearing identical Levi's. I said to myself, "Of course, aren't identical twins supposed to have the same genes?"
Last night I had a nightmare that I was a piece of wood that had Mineralized into Stone.
I woke up petrified.
I have an astronomy joke but it’s a little dark.
Good dating advice. Telling a woman she looks absolutely radiant unless her name is Marie Curie.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism!
If there's one thing we've learnt from archaeologists it's that our
ancestors were extremely good at burying things.
I wanted to make some puns about the periodic table but the best ones argon...
3. Warning: the laughter is positively electrifying!
Finally revealed: the leading cause of death for rats and mice
Research scientists
How did the date between Oxygen and Potassium go??
"It went OK.
I love chemistry puns, but all the good ones Argon!
What a totally boring party I went to last night on the moon. There was just NO atmosphere.
Electrician didn't get home until after 2am. His wife asked "Wire you insulate?" He replied, "Watts it to you, I'm ohm, aren't I?"...
A beginners guide to Chromosomes
XY Male
XX Female
YYY Delilah
A chemist froze himself at -273.15°C, everyone said he was crazy but he was actually 0K.
How often should a person make chemistry jokes?
Periodically!!!
Flat earthers would have believed in round earth if the earth was flat.
My favourite planet name
is 'Saturn'.
It has a nice ring to it.
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get 50 cents out of you, I'll be doing great."
"Is that so?" snorted Mr. Smith. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Mr. Smith.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
"The speed of Time, is exactly one second per second."😎
Never register for a class that says “space is limited,” because whoever’s running it clearly has no respect for science.
Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?
Because they get hammered and stoned.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
4. Warning: atoms of comedy are constantly in motion and colliding to create hilarious reactions!
- How do geologists like to relax?
- In rocking chairs, of course!
Q: What is anatomy?
A: the difference of knowing your pussy, and knowing you're a pussy.
According to a recent study people tend to believe any sentence that starts with according to a recent study.
All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
100,000 Pascals go into a Bar.
Born in a car but died outside.
Call that Carbon Dioxide.
A neutron, photon, and neutrino sit at a bar and asks how much drinks are. Bartender says “for y’all, no charge.”
Just wanted to send a shout out to Gravity...
Thanks for holding things down...
I have a joke on Chemistry but am not sure if I will get the desired reactions.
A chemistry text book is atoms explaining atoms to a bunch of atoms.
“I’m going to donate my body to science, and keep my Dad happy – he always wanted me to go to medical school.”
Breaking News. Scientists have made cars that can run on parsley. They are now trying to make trains that can run on thyme 🤣
Scientists have found that sniffing rosemary increases memory by 75%. Not sure Rosemary appreciates it.
Asked a scientist, how do you make a hormone?
He told me don't pay her!
Scientists recorded the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
HeHe.