The Best Hilarious Insults to Burn Your Friends and Enemies.

I bet your brain feels good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it.

You’re so fat you could sell shade.

There’s only one problem with your face… I can see it.

Mirrors can’t talk, and lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. Are you sure you weren’t made in China?

Maybe if you ate some of that make up you could be pretty on the inside.

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.

You’ve got a great face for make up.

You’re so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks.

You’re the reason they invented double doors.

You’re so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar.

We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.

I’d give you a slap, but that’d be animal abuse.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.

You’re living proof that evolution can go in reverse.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.

Hey dog breath, if I throw a stick will you go away?

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for example.

I’d love to insult you, but I won’t do as well as nature did.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a smarter comeback than what you just said.

I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you.

What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?

Of course I talk like an idiot… How else would you understand me?

You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

You look like a before picture.

Your family tree must be a cactus, because everybody on it’s a prick.

You’re about as useful as a vibrator with no batteries.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

Why don’t you slip into something a little more comfortable… Like a coma.

I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

I’m not saying that I hate you, but I’d unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile.

If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.

Your face makes onions cry.

Learn from your parent’s mistake… Use birth control.

Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

You’ve got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?