A roundhouse kick to the funny bone, delivering a powerful punchline.
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a stunt double. Stunt doubles need Chuck Norris."
- Tom Cruise
"Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the world down."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."
- Jason Statham
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-09-18.
Chuck Approved Humor: A comedic tribute to the legend himself.
Puns of Steel: When it comes to Mr Norris, laughter is the best defense.
And if you ever find yourself in a tough spot, just ask yourself, "What would Mr Norris do?"
He is the embodiment of toughness and badassery.
Enter the realm of Chuck Norris jokes, if you dare!
Chuck Norris jokes: Where humor meets invincibility.
Discover the legend behind the laughter: Chuck Norris jokes.
Laugh your way through the unstoppable force of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity… twice.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris once split a man in by giving him a wedgie.
Chuck Norris once ate at Taco Bell and didn’t get diarrhea…
Mission Impossible was originally set in Chuck Norris’s house.
Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.
Chuck Norris named his daughter Mercy. The day she was born was the only day Chuck Norris ever had Mercy.
On New Year’s Eve, Chuck Norris promised that he’d lose 20 pounds. The next morning he shaved his chest and smiled as he realized that he’d lost 30.
What’s the strongest part of Chuck Norris? His opinion.
Chuck Norris found the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris plays Jenga with Stonehenge.
When we first landed on the moon, the astronauts noted there was print on the moon that said “Chuck Norris was here.”
When Christopher Columbus discovered America, he was greeted by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.
Chuck Norris beats rock, paper, scissors. Cannon balls, tanks, super destroyers, exploding stars — I could go on.
When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.