Rev up your laughter.
"I have a love-hate relationship with my car. It loves to break down, and I hate it for that."
- Ellen DeGeneres
Driving humor to put a smile in the fast lane!
What did the traffic light say to the car ?
Don’t look I’m about to change
whats a car’s favorite place to hang out?
a CARnival.
Why did the skunk sleep under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
A truck carrying vicks vaporub overturned on the highway, amazingly there was no congestion for 8 hours strait.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? yeah, he was tired.
I said to my pregnant wife push darling , come on push harder dear , no she wasn’t giving birth the bloody car would not start .
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Yo mama so dumb. She sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Robin: The cars not working.
Batman: Did you check the battery?
Robin: Whats a tery ?
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds “Oh. I’m terribly sorry. You see, I’m so gay I can’t even park straight.”
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident
An amputation.
Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk.
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
Laugh your way down the comedy highway with Car Jokes!
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad!
Why do chicken coops have only two doors?
If they had four, they would be chicken sedans.
What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S?
Automobile.
What’s a car’s favorite meal?
Brake-fast.
What do you get when you cross a race car with a spud?
Crashed potatoes.
Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.
What do you get when you cross a Mustang and an elephant?
A convertible with a big trunk.
Why are pigs bad drivers?
They hog the road!
What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?
Carpet.
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.
What do you call a used car salesman?
A car-deal-ologist.
Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?
He wanted to bust a move.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Want to go for a spin.
Buckle up for a hilarious ride with Car Jokes!
What part of the car is the laziest?
The wheels, because they are always tired.
What do you say to a frog who needs a ride?
Hop in.
What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?
Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.
Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up?
Because they are two-tired.
I ran my Subi into a lake.
Now it’s a Scubaru.
What kind of petrol does Vin use?
Diesel.
What do you call a Norwegian prostitute?
A Fjord Escort.
When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed.
The accident was a Fender bender.
My relationship with my chauffeur just isn’t going anywhere.
It feels like he’s always trying to drive me away.
I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt.
Then it clicked.
What kind of car does a dog hate?
CorVETS.
A man drove his expensive car into a tree…
And found out how the Mercedes bends.
What snakes are found on cars?
Windshield vipers.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
Enjoy a humorous ride through the world of automobiles.
How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home.
What kind of car does a snake drive?
An Ana-Honda.
Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?
Taxi drivers.
What kind of cars do cooks drive?
Chef-rolets.
What kind of car does yoda drive?
A toyoda.
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?
A Ford Siesta.