Dad Jokes: Laugh, Cringe and Share with the Family!

Just heard on the TV that humans eat more bananas than monkeys..
Not surprised really, can't remember the last time I ate a monkey. 🙊🙉🙈

If a liar admitted that he's a liar, is he honest? 🤔

Q. What do you call an ill space man?
A. A gastronaught. 👩‍🚀

Did you hear about the two satellites that got married?

The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was amazing!

Question: What do you call 2 Doctors who Travel and work in an Ambulance? Answer: A Pair O' Medics 👨‍🍳👩‍🍳

Question: What did the Father Buffalo say when his male child left home? Answer: Bye,Son. 🐃

Dad: how's your results son.
Me: they're underwater
Dad: what???
Me: Below C level 🌊

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent!

Was thinking about watching the movie "THE INVISIBLE MAN "
Then I realized there's probably not much to see.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. 🐮

How do you save a sheep from choking?

You give it SheepPR

Went to a psychics convention earlier today. It wasnt fun, all the psychics were either mad or depressed. There was no happy medium.

What’s the difference between a Hippo and Zippo

Ones a little lighter 🔥

In the word laughter, letter ''l'' initiates and the others comes aughter it. 🤣

If you believe in telekinesis,
raise my hand. ✋

My son climbed up onto my shoulders last night and started reciting numbers "1... 2... 3..." I said "Hey! What are you doing? Get off of there..."

My son replied "Dad - don't let me down. I'm counting on you."🔢

A basketball player and a dwarf have robbed the local bank.

Police are looking high and low 🤪

If a woman sits on a table during her period, does it call periodic table? 👩‍🦰

“What did one warrior say to the other warrior after he chopped his feet off? You have been defeeted!” 🦶

I just want to give a shout out to sidewalks.
For keeping me off the streets.