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My mannequin is broken and I can't stand it anymore!

jokes about unemployment aren't working

There's a guy going around stealing iPhones. At some point he's going to face time....

I didn't know what to wear to my premature ejaculation society meeting, so I just came in my pants.

My girlfriend asked me how Jesus stayed so fit back then. I told her it was CrossFit.

People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll create a post about How to stop procrastinating.

Even if you put your left shoe on the wrong foot, it's still on the right foot...

When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof I was shocked.

If we continue wearing masks for next 5 years, Next generation might think that Mouth is a Private Part.

Why are Pizzas made round, cut into triangles then put into a square box?

If you think 2020 is a bad year just wait for 2022 cause 2022 is 2020 too.

After watching how some people wear masks, I understand how contraception fails.

I had an “hour glass” figure, but then the sand shifted.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it at a remote location.

I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs — they’re always taking things literally.

Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics!

I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems — the first thing he did was make me pay in advance.

if my EX was a COOKIE, she would be a whoreo.

i don't like people who take drugs
for example: airport security.