Get Your Daily Dose of Laughter with Our Funny One-Liners !

Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby trap.

Fact: Dr. Awkward spelled backwards is still "Dr. Awkward."

A Shovel Is A Real Ground Breaking Invention.

I love cycling. Does that make me a pedalphile?

“Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”

To the guy who mugged the midget, how do you stoop that low ?

Someone stole my de-alcoholized whiskey, but the cops said that there was no proof...

I pulled a muscle digging for gold. It's just a miner injury.

People yawning in an aeroplane must be a nightmare for deaf people.

I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror.

I'm glad i know sign language, it's pretty handy.

Jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny.

I tried catching fog the other day but mist.

If you pee on an electric fence, Urine trouble!

I won't sleep until i find a treatment for insomnia.

A good way to get your name in the newspaper is to cross the street reading one.

I finally caught the person at work who has been stealing my beetroot... caught him red handed.

I've never been much of a whiskey drinker but I'm willing to give it a shot.

I went to at Michelin style restaurant, was not good, all the food tasted like rubber.

As a new language, Braille is not that difficult to learn... you just have to have a feel for it.

I have lost appetite, I can't believe eat😤

The Bible tells you to love one another. The Kama Sutra is a lot more specific.

Sam was told not to sing. But Samsung anyway.

"Double trouble" is a mother-in-law with a twin sister.

Have you ever noticed that every town is named after their water tower?

Anything not about elephants is irrelephant.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Toll Booths are nothing but Bill Gates.

Do you think centaurs have good horsemanship skills?

Micropenis anonymous has been canceled due to small attendance.

Never Piss Off Amazon. They know where you live.

Despite its bad review I bough this vacuum cleaner from Amazon. It sucks.

Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Grandad!
Shoot stop the funeral!

More than half of the word 'Assassinate' is 'Ass'.

Whiteboards are so remarkable!

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I invested in commercial fishing hoping for some net gains. We shall sea.

GUYS IF YOU SEE A LINK THAT SAYS FREE INDIAN SEX FILMS 240P DOWNLOAD NOW, DON'T CLICK ON IT IT'S A VIRUS THAT FORCES ALL CAPS LOCK.

It's rare that I see a steak pun well done.

I wear a mask because the Bible says "Thou shalt not Covid thy neighbor's wife".

Lingerie salespersons never die, they just slip away.

After Sex my girlfriend started calling me Christmas. Apparently I came early.

I was never a fan of organ donation until I had a change of heart.

I told a hermaphrodite to go screw himself, and she did.

I'm afraid of pastries.They give me the crêpes.

People from Poland are called Poles but why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

I love fat girls 😍, no matter where you grab them it feels like titties.

It is reported that many resort hotels have towels so thick and fluffy that you can hardly close your suitcase.

A backward poet writes inverse.

I keep asking people what the word 'faggot' means but no one ever gives me a straight answer.

Internet dating,
❤
the odds are good,
but the goods are odd.

Is it just me or are circles pointless??

Each time you light your lighter it gets lighter and lighter until it’s so light it won’t light.

If you must insist on sending me pics of your boobs,
please at least be fucking female.

Masturbation is a touchy subject. But oral sex is a matter of taste.

Disneyland is a people trap set by a mouse.

The life of a driller is boring.