If laughter is the best medicine...
"I don't tell jokes to make people laugh. I tell them so they can see the deeper truth hidden within."
- George Carlin
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2025-11-10.
Get ready for a comedy extravaganza.
Where each joke is a sparkling gem of wit and humor.
Jokes and puns are like treasure troves of laughter waiting to be explored!
It's like stumbling upon a comedy gold mine.
Where puns are always intended and jokes are always hilarious.
Jokes and Puns: For when you need a good laugh.
Jokes and Puns: The cure for a bad mood.
Jokes and Puns: The ultimate source of laughter.
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
Last night my neighbour shouted so loudly at her kids.
that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running.
I bought a new muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy but it fits the bill...
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying?
Are you having a crisis?
Лучше с трудом заниматься любовью, чем с любовью заниматься трудом!
I've just watched the uncut version of Scarface.
It's just called Face.
The zoo is a safe place to fart.
Was in Cairo recently.. Disappointed to see that the people walk just like us.
I got a new Puppy yesterday, called it Rolex, gonna be a watch dog.
Выборы в США: спасибо деду за победу!
Policeman: Name please?
Man: Wizard of Oz.
Policeman: your FUll name sir!
Man: (quietly) Wizard of Ounces
🧙♂️😜
having a friend with the same level of dirty mind is blessing...
FUN FACT
A pig can eat a pedophile in 8 minutes
🤷♂️
#SaveOurChildren
Я на себя ничего не трачу. Всё уходит на вино и женщин.
Went into the library this morning and I asked the woman there for a book about turtles. 'Hardback?' she asked. I nodded 'Yeah, and little heads.
Why did the pig dump her boyfriend?
Because he was a real BOAR.
A bomb has been discovered hidden inside a can of alphabetti spaghetti...if that had gone off it could have spelt disaster.
I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit's feet...
I thought, “Well he's pushing his luck!”
I've finished writing my new book, the A to C of laziness.
Doctor, when is the coronavirus pandemic going to end?
I don't know, I'm not that into politics.
Wife busy packing clothes
Hubby : Where are you going
Wife : To my mother
Hubby also starts packing
Wife : And where do you think you are going
Hubby : Am also going to my mother
Wife : What about the kids
Hubby - Since you are going to your mother and am also going to my mother , the kids should also go to their mother.
"Dad, was I adopted as a child?"
The father sighs, places his hand on the boy's shoulder and replies wistfully:
"We tried, but nobody would take you"
Never date a girl who can’t respect your wife.
Son: Dad, I have an imaginary girlfriend!
Dad: You know you can do better.
Son: Oh! Thanks Dad, that means a lot.
Dad: I was talking to your girlfriend.
Son: Dad, I have an imaginary girlfriend!
Dad: You know you can do better.
Son: Oh! Thanks Dad, that means a lot.
Dad: I was talking to your girlfriend.
How did the geography student drown?
His grades were below C level.
Q) If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A) Idaho... Alaska!
Which country is the slippiest?
Greece!
What's the coldest country?
Chile!
What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys?
An assassination!
What was Thor's favourite thing about geography?
Learning about the equa-thor!
Why did the Romanian stop reading at night?
They were giving the Bucharest!
How do mountains see?
They peak!
What did the rock say to the geographer?
Don't take me for granite!
What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?
A con-tour map!
Which is smarter? Longitude or latitude.
Longitude, because it has 360 degrees!
Where do crayons go on vacation?
Color-ado!
What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?
Juveniles!
Why does the Yeti know all the map symbols?
Because it's a legend!
Q: Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
A: Student: I didn't even know it was sick!
Q: What is the fastest country in the world?
A: Rush-a!
Q: What did Delaware?
A: Her New Jersey!
Q: What is the capital of Washington?
A: The W!
Q: What city cheats at exams?
A: Peking!
Q: What rock group has four men that don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore!
Q: Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
A: Student: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up!
Q: What are the Great Plains?
A: The 747, Concorde and F-16!
Q: Where to pencils come from?
A: Pennsylvania!
Q: What stays in the corner, but travels around the world?
A: A stamp!
Q: What is the smartest state?
A: Alabama, it has four A's and one B.
Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation?
A: Florida Keys.
Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: The Mississippi River.
Best alliance in the world? Russia and the weather.
How to insult a historian: "Yo mamma's got so little class she could be a Marxist utopia."
What did Hitler say when the Allies invaded Normandy?
'This is out of Mein Kampfort zone.'
What do you call 100,000 men with their hands up?
The French Army.
How to write a history essay: However, however, however, however, on the other hand, however, however, however, however, hence.
Q: When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
A: Rust in peace!
Q: Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
A: Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!
Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?
A: History, because it's full of dates!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: The same middle name!
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!
Q: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day!
A: Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus like everyone else!
Q: Why aren't you doing well in history?
A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!
Q: Who built the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!
Q: Who made King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir-Cumference.
Q: What did Mason say to Dixon?
A: We've got to draw the line here!
Q: What's purple and 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.
Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: I don't know, I wasn't invited!
Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
A: Floodlights!
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By norse code!
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!
— Байден победил, поэтому собираю деньги на эмиграцию в Канаду. Вот мой QIWI-кошелёк.
— Ты живёшь в Рязани.
— Вот мой QIWI-кошелёк.
I don’t like the letter ‘n’. It always has to be the centre of attention.
The comma sutra makes grammar sexy.
What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
Why do words and punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.
I before e, except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.