A roundhouse kick to the funny bone, delivering a powerful punchline.
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a stunt double. Stunt doubles need Chuck Norris."
- Tom Cruise
Welcome to the ultimate destination for Chuck Norris jokes! Our collection is packed with the funniest, wittiest, and most hilarious Mr Norris humor that will have you laughing out loud. Whether you're a long-time fan of this incredible man or just looking for a good laugh, our carefully curated selection of jokes is guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. From classic one-liners to clever gags, we've got all the Chuck Norris humor you need to brighten your day.
So, get ready to dive into the world of Chuck Norris jokes and unleash the laughter!
A comedic tribute to the legend himself.
When Chuck Norris walks into a movie theater with his cell phone on, they turn off the movie.
When Chuck Norris finishes shaving, he puts aftershave on his razor.
The government pays Chuck Norris taxes.
When Chuck Norris was late for school teachers punished the rest of the class for being early.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it’s beef, it’s beef!
Santa Claus delivers presents so he can stay on Chuck Norris's nice list.
Ikea assembles Chuck Norris's furniture.
Chuck Norris can be Jewish and still eat Pork.
The batteries in Chuck's cell phone automatically charge while he's using it.
Chuck Norris made Twisted Sister take it.
When it comes to Mr Norris, laughter is the best defense.
Chuck Norris was not lonely at Heartbreak Hotel.
When Chuck Norris goes to Rome, The Romans do as Chuck.
The reason the band Kiss wears makeup is because they are hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make a cow out of cheese.
Chuck Norris never has to plug in his Tesla.
Chuck can see the invisible man.
Chuck Norris can play ping pong alone.
Glock carries Chuck Norris for self-defense.
Chuck Norris once won a staring contest against his own reflection
Chuck Norris likes his coffee strong enough to bend a spoon!
And if you ever find yourself in a tough spot, just ask yourself, "What would Mr Norris do?"
Chuck Norris is listed before Chuck Morris in alphabetical lists.
Real estate agents pay Chuck Norris to not buy a house.
Chuck Norris once parallel parked a train.
Chuck Norris would make socialism work everywhere he tried it.
Chuck Norris can fix stupid!
When you pull Chuck Norris's finger - YOU fart.
Chuck Norris knocks his cat's stuff off the shelf.
The fear of spiders is arachnophobia, there fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, the fear of Chuck Norris is just common sense.
Chuck Norris still gets free CDs and cassettes from Columbia House. He never subscribed.
Jack Daniels once took a shot of Chuck Norris… and still has a hangover to this day.
He is the embodiment of toughness and badassery.
Chuck Norris has never filled out an online form because Chuck Norris never submits.
Chuck Norris collected his money left to him by the Nigerian Prince.
Baby Shark can't get Chuck Norris out of his head.
Chuck Norris can eat at Taco Bell and NOT get diarrhea.
Chuck Norris went to Walmart, and opened all the registers.
A pot watched by Chuck Norris boils immediately.
Chuck Norris Rattlesnake belt is still alive.
Chuck Norris ran the Boston Marathon backwards, just to see who finished in 2nd place!
Chuck Norris once had a race against time. Time's still running
Tony Stark really wanted to build a Chuck Norris suit but he wasn’t rich enough.
Enter the realm of Chuck Norris jokes, if you dare!
Chuck Norris can make Journey stop believing.
Chuck Norris has never met a lesbian.
After careful consideration, Frank Sinatra decided to do it CHUCK'S way.
Chuck Norris was able to leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norri’s wife never wants to discuss the relationship.
Before Black Eyed Peas made Chuck Norris mad, they were just called Peas.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read your mind… he lets you know what you’re thinking.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of Rain.
Chuck Norris once told a joke to Hyenas and they still haven't stop laughing!
Chuck Norris doesn't lie, he changes facts!
Chuck Norris jokes: Where humor meets invincibility.
Chuck Norris scored a touchdown in basketball
Chuck Norris fixed stupid...twice.
Chuck Norris's parachute failed to open, so he took it back for a refund!!!
Chuck Norris won a marathon while sleepwalking.
CHUCK NORRIS BUILT ROME IN A DAY.
Chuck Norris first job was selling ice to Eskimos.
Chuck Norris won Wheel of Fortune using numbers.
When Chuck Norris sucks in helium, his voice sounds like Barry White.
Chuck Norris once drowned a man on a pool table!
There are no such thing as Chuck Norris jokes! Only Chuck Norris facts!
Discover the legend behind the laughter: Chuck Norris jokes.
Chuck can cut a knife with hot butter.
Chuck Norris can talk to liberals and they actually listen. Then they apologise.
Chuck Norris worked as a car salesman , and sold a car to the owner of the dealership on his first day.
James Cameron wanted to cast Chuck Norris for the role of The Terminator but Chuck Norris wasn’t interested in doing a documentary.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
So I bought Monopoly: Chuck Norris edition. The only problem is he already won.
Ever notice there has never been a hurricane named Chuck. Just imagine the devastation.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he played the floor is lava inside active volcanos.
Chuck Norris is the only human alive that will out live Keith Richards.
Bought some Chuck Norris toilet paper. Ended up returning it because it wouldn’t take crap from anyone.
Laugh your way through the unstoppable force of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once flew around the world;
On a kite.
Chuck Norris can cook 2 minute noodles in...
1 minute!!!
Chuck Norris got an A on his essay on how to describe courage… he wrote his name.
Chuck Norris once drank boiling water, and then spit out ice cubes! That's how cool Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris's shirts are 200% cotton.
Chuck Norris can reheat McDonald's fries and they taste good!
Chuck Norris is the only man alive able to start a fire with 2 ice cubes.
Chuck Norris does not have an ESC key on his keyboard, because nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
The Earth’s rotation is caused by Chuck Norris’s morning jog.
At Chuck Norris' house, his wife leaves the toilet seat up!