Dad Jokes: Laugh, Cringe and Share with the Family!

The pinnacle of cheesy humor.


"I love dad jokes, they're so bad that they're good. It's like a guilty pleasure!"

- Ryan Reynolds

DAD jokes collection.



Dad Jokes: Where puns are the currency and laughter is the reward!


I gave my girlfriend a pendant with a picture of me inside it.
I’m Independent.


What does Italian ghost eat?
Spookghetti


I decided to read my dictionary in bed last night but I didn't finish it.
I got up to P.


"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.


Why are kids so good at Minecraft?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because they're minors.


Sometimes I tuck my knees up to my chest and lean forward... That's just how I roll.


My dad worked 10 hours a day to put food on the table.
Great dad
But a really slow cook.


All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.


I just found out they won't be making 12 inch rulers any longer.


I just released my own dad fragrance.

Nobody else in the car seemed to like it.



Laugh, groan, and eye-roll your way through Dad Jokes: Comedy for the whole family!


I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now!


If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
Thanks for the Baghdad!


i once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels.

unfortunately she didn't know i existed.


Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
.. because he was a ruler.


I just cut down a tree just by looking at it.
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.


100 years ago, most people had a horse and only the rich had cars. Today, most people have a car and only the rich have horses.
The stables have turned.


Why was the comforter sad?
It was down.


I've an idea for a new telly show...it's called 'Doctor Whom'. An English teacher travels through time correcting people's grammar...


Shout out to all those asking what the opposite of in is!


- Добро пожаловать в наше арт-пространство!
- Это же просто ссаный подвал!
- Лофт...
- Там в углу крысы доедают наркомана!
- Это инсталляция!



Dad Jokes: Making the world a happier place, one corny punchline at a time!


I topped my pasta today with cheese using a device once owned by Hitler and Saddam Hussein, the grater of two evils.


You know, it always makes me think back when I hear the word...

...spine.
🤔


You have $400.

Your son texts you and asks for $200.
Your daughter then texts and asks for $150.

How much do you have left??

$400 and two unread texts..


What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing. He was gladiator.


My house is haunted by the ghost of an angry chicken.
It’s a poultrygeist!


I've invented a new type of Fire Extinguisher but I can't see it setting the World on fire.


I've been trying to put a Turban on for the last hour but I just can't wrap my head around it!


Being bald is like being in heaven.

There's no dyeing.


Why do witches wear name tags?
To know which witch is which.


I'm not going to lie, my bed is broken 🙄



Discover the art of dad humor on Dad Jokes: Where wit and dad jokes collide!


- "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
- No sun.


What starts with a 't' ends with a 't' and is full of 't' ?
A teapot.


Just had a meal in the new Titanic Restaurant, It didn't go down well. it was a disaster!


"dad why are you standing outside?"
"So if anyone asks, I'm outstanding."


I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. My gondolences.


I don't tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he likes them.


What did the cake say to the knife?
You want a piece of me?


It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
It’s a faux pa.


I want my coffee my way, said Frank Sumatra.


I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday, it caused immense pain to ma toes.



Dad Jokes: The secret weapon for unleashing your inner dad-joke master!


I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig.
It’s not a long poem, but it’s deep.


I've been trying to organise a Hide and Seek tournament for some time, but it's not easy.
Good players are hard to find.


Why aren't koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalifications.


Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it’s your scenter!


Grandma forwarded me a fantastic recipe for cooked pork and ham. She says she finds them all the time in her Spam folder.


Ben: "Dad, there is a hole in my shoe."
Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot."


Vampire dad "You ok?"

Vampire son "yeah why?"

Vampire dad "last night I heard coffin" 🤣🤣🤣


I couldn’t figure out why my coffee taste like dirt. My daughter said it was “ground” this morning.


I passed my insect identification exam.
I got a bee.


I warned my Son about using his whistle in the house! I gave him one last chance..

...but he blew it!!🤣



Prepare for a giggle-fest on Dad Jokes: Where bad jokes become legendary!


"Dad, what's a forklift?"
"Food, usually."


Just passed a man walking down the street saying
"1,3,5,7,9,1,3,5,7,9"
And i thought to myself "that's odd!!"


You can never "not see" a giraffe coz its always spotted.


I saw two policemen chasing a person who had just stolen a board game of little value.
It was a really trivial pursuit.


There was an equine animal in my yard at 1 am last night. I wasn't sure whether to call it a dark horse or a night mare.


People have different reactions when experiencing great heights in the sky...At•most•fear


Did you know that if an eagle gets sick it cannot be treated. It’s ill-eagle!


Why is the letter B so cool?
Because it's sitting in the middle of the AC!


A Priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.....
The rabbit says, I think I might be a type o


Just seen a cat and a hedge hog fighting.....
I think the hedge hog was winning on points.



Dad Jokes: The Art of Puzzling Wisdom with a Dash of Humor!


I don’t trust those trees, son.
Son: why not?
They seem kind of.... shady.


Our orthodontics professor didn’t gum to class today, so we braced ourselves for a substi•tooth teacher.


So a guy went to a zoo on his day off. There were no animals there besides one dog. It was a Shit Tzu.


How do you invite a dinosaur to lunch?
Tea, Rex?


I heard the government is putting chips into people? I hope I get BBQ.


I saw a pigeon having a game
Of chess with a bird with a big beak. I thought “toucan play at that game.


What do you call a deer with no eye?
~no idea~
What do you call a deer with no eye and no legs?
~still no idea~


I asked my dad, “Can we get some pets?”

He said: “No, pets are just a step backwards.”


What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car.


I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.

It’s not like I did anything.


Dad Jokes: Bringing the LOLs and cringe-worthy moments to your daily routine!


My mate bet me I couldn't think of a joke about a Flower...
But I Rose to the challenge.


What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.


Guess where the fish keep their money?
In a river bank..


The local nudist beach has been shut down.
There's a big sign saying "Sorry, we're Clothed".


Which would you rather be, or a wasp?


What do u call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!


Apparently, there is a new movie about fishing being produced.
It has a great cast.


Somebody stole my car tyres.
Now it's not working, it must be retired.


I bought a new calculator the other day, the + button seems to be missing,
It just doesn’t add up.


If you put toppings on ice cream, and it melts, and they drop to the bottom, are they still toppings or are they now droppings?




More dad jokes, puns and wordplays on the following pages...


SEE also - The TOP MOST viewed Jokes - hilarious collection with top views:

They have been viewed so many times that they've practically become the unofficial currency of internet humor, making us wonder if we're all just living in a digital comedy club.