Cringe-Worthy Laughs: Awkward Jokes to Make You Squirm.

My wedding night with my wife was awkward...
When we undressed I told her she was beautiful and looked like a goddess in the moonlight. She told me it looked like my hard on was trying to ask my butt a question.

I got into an awkward situation by having an erection at the office.
I was hard at work.

My sister and my new girlfriend have the same name. That‘s so awkward... now every time we have sex I gotta think about my new girlfriend.

It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."

That awkward moment when you're wearing Nikes and you can't just do it.

That embarrassing moment when you realize, that person wasn't waving at you.

That awkward moment when someone tries to correct you on something you clearly know more about.

“I'm going to sleep now” - Translation: I'm going to lie in the dark and think about all the awkward things I've ever done.

It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone... because they usually want to know who you are.

When it’s April 2 and she’s still pregnant.

That awkward moment when you open a birthday card and there's no money in it and you pretend to read it with a lost smile.

I hate that awkward feeling when you’re talking and realize nobody is listening so you just kind of fade out and pretend you never said anything.

The awkward moment when you answer a question that was supposed to be rhetorical.

That awkward moment, when people ask: Are you a couple? And you look at each other and wait who's going to answer first.

That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken with flirting.

That awkward moment when you wave and smile at someone but they don't see you.

That awkward moment when you change your facebook status to SINGLE and your ex likes it.

That awkward moment when you accidentally answer a call you were trying to ignore.

That awkward moment when I'm drunk and you're still ugly...

My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.

That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes, and you slowly put another dish in the sink.

That awkward moment when you don't understand a joke but laugh anyway, and then someone asks you to explain the joke.

That awkward moment when you say "I love you" and they say "OK".

You can always make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.

That awkward moment when everyone is talking during the class but the teacher only hears your voice.

That awkward moment when the only thing you know on your test is your name.

That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people think you're stupid.

That awkward moment when someone is crying, and you can't control your laughter.

That awkward moment when someone tries to correct you on something you clearly know more about.

Today my yoga instructor was really drunk..
Which put me in an awkward position

That awkward moment when you get mad at someone, slam the door, then you realize you forgot something, so you have to go back.

It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing Domino's."

That awkward silence when prison inmates are playing monopoly and somebody picks up the 'get out of jail free' card.

When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.

I met my wife on Tinder.
That was awkward.

I once went to a really awkward party in an igloo...

When I tried to break the ice it only made things worse.

I’m at that awkward stage between birth and death.

That awkward silence when prison inmates are playing monopoly and somebody picks up the 'get out of jail free' card.

I've just finished reading the Kama Sutra.....and I have to say its left me in a very awkward position !!!

You haven't experienced awkward, until you tickle someone who isn't ticklish.

It was awkward silence for 8 hours straight,With an occasional sigh or heavy breath.
Then she woke up and screamed: who the fuck are you?

I got into an awkward situation by having an erection at the office.
I was hard at work.

My therapist says I'm socially awkward because I misinterpret what people say to me...
I'm pretty sure she wants me.

I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward...
...probably because I wasn't invited...

This guy was buying a pregnancy test. I looked at him and he looked back awkwardly.
"It's not for me," he said, embarrassed. "It's for my sister."
I said, "Sick bastard. Why are you having sex with her?"

"May I sleep with your sister?" is such an awkward question to ask.
I have no idea how my dad is going to respond.

Don’t believe everything you read in public toilets. Sharon is not up for a good time. What an awkward phone call that was...

I had sex with a deaf girl and it got awkward really fast.
Her sign language interpreter wouldn't leave the room.

What do you say after sex to make it awkward?
Do you have a washcloth? My dog usually cleans me up.

How does a tree handle an awkward situation?
It leaves.

I was walking a girl home last night, and at some point, things got a little awkward.
She turned around, and saw me walking her home.

When the lockdown started, all I did was masturbate and watch TV all day.
After 3 weeks it got awkward and my coworkers decided to tell me how to turn my camera off on Zoom.

Prince Harry’s bachelor party had to be pretty awkward.
He was putting pictures of his grandma in a strippers G string.

What's an awkward moment for a homosexual when they're trying to use Google Maps?
When it tells them to go straight.