Jokes About Names That Will Make You Laugh !

Did you hear about the guy who changed his name to Authorized Personnel?
It opened a lot of doors for him.

Her name was Virginia. Virgin for short, but not for long.

Why do we fire at will ?
What's he done that we keep firing at him ?

My sister just had a baby boy.
They've decided to call him Mark, but with a C.
Cark.

If you spell your name backwards and put an umlaut over the first vowel, that's your IKEA furniture name.

What do you call a Dentist that doesn't like Tea?

Denis.

Don't put the Paul McCartney before the Paul McHorsey.

What do you call a guy pouring water into a glass?

Phil.

My friend Pete believes he was reincarnated from a previous life.

We call him Repete.

What do you use when you haven't got a condom?

A fake name.

What do you call a monster with high IQ?

FrankEinstein

My Dad always wanted his grandson to be named after him.

Welcome to the world, baby Grandad.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

The Wok.

Dad, "Son, I named you after my father."
After my father, "I know. "

My new girlfriend, Emma, is a chiropractor.
I call her Bony Em.

When my friend Joyce learned she could clone herself, she rejoiced.

I can't remember names. It's my Apollo's heel.

My aptly named neighbor, Sue, is a lawyer.

My friend Humphrey never has to pay at the brothel...

What do you call a stripper who also works as a hooker who is known for squirting?
Krystal Geyser.

I once met David Hasselhoff. He said "call me Hoff" i said "no hassel"

He: I can't get a job at any bank. Why?
She: I have no idea, Rob.

So I was talking to my mate earlier when I thought to myself…
"Why the hell are you called earlier?"

What do you call a Roman Emperor with a cold?

Julius Sneezer.

I knew a very sad guy named Matthew who was forever letting people walk all over him. I told him to stop being such a dour Matt.

Every woman named Iris is 80% Irish.

Went to a russian doctor to be circumcised.
His name was Dr Kutchakokov.

Did you hear about the male escort who keeps killing his clients?
They call him Jack the Stripper.

I once met a dyslexic stripper
named Density.

Worried about a friend of mine named Kate. She joined this group who isolates themselves. I said please don't commune it Kate.

My kid’s pet rabbit named Gotye ran away a few days ago, and we can’t find it.

Now he’s just some bunny that we used to know.

What do you call a doll that does kung fu? Chucky Chan.

My friend Maureen studies animals that live in the ocean. She's a Maureen biologist.

I once asked Calvin Klein's daughter out on a date but she turned me down.

Her name is Dee.

Six short years ago my wife’s doctor was delivering pizza and monkeybread. People still say those are bad names for our twins.

Bruce Lee had a cousin that loved avocado named Gaucamo Lee.

Did you hear about the guy who changed his name to Authorized Personnel?
It opened a lot of doors for him.

I wasn’t sure how to spell “Bismarck”, but fortunately my phone had Otto-correct.

What happens when a famous super spy becomes homeless?
“The name’s bond— Vagabond.”

Your spy name is:
Your last name, followed by a brief pause and then your first and last name.

My friend called me at work the other day and told me he was changing his name to Spinal Column.
I told him I’d call him Back.

Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.

I have a guy named Lou who rents from me
I call him Loutenant.

Barbie’s convertible needs a tuneup, but unfortunately this is beyond her ken…

Only two years ago, my wife’s gynecologist delivered pizza.
Still to this day, they both think it’s a bad name.

Jason Bourne has a brother who lives in Australia.

His name is Mel.

Who's bigger ?
Mr Bigger, Mrs Bigger or their baby ?

Their baby. He's a little Bigger.

My sister just had a baby boy.
They've decided to call him Mark, but with a C.
Cark.

My mother warned me against giving my daughter a silly name, but I called her bluff...

Flight Attendant: “Would you like some headphones?”

Me: “How did you know my name is Phones?”

My buddy Steve tied a level to the top of his head. Now he’s Even Steven.

CHRIS: hey can I borrow a ten?
KRISTEN: sure
CHRISTEN: thank you
KRIS: any time

Her name was Virginia. Virgin for short, but not for long.

[Detective shows me a picture of a suspect]
-“Have you seen this man? Goes by the name of ‘Stephen’ with a ‘ph’.”
-“Why?”
-“That’s how his parents spelt it.”