Quarantine Chronicles: COVID Jokes to Lift Your Spirits.

Break the chain of boredom with these COVID jokes! We've put together a hilarious collection of pandemic humor that will lighten the mood in tough times.

Whip up your sense of humor!

COVID Jokes meme
COVID Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-20.




Selected covid jokes:


Covid 19 is a threat to every single person in the world! Thank God am married! 👫


Coronavirus wears a mask to protect itself from Chuck Norris.


I don't understand the Covid variant names.
It's all Greek to me.


- What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?
- In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.



More covid jokes...


Conspiracy joke:
My tinfoil hat has been more effective than your Covid mask.


Due to COVID19, all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.


Do you think the US government mishandled the Pandemic?
I’m not just certain, I’m COVID positive.


What can the coronavirus do that the us government can't?
Stop school shootings.


Knock! Knock!

Coronavirus: Who’s there?

Vaccine : It’s me.

Coronavirus: Give me a minute. I’m changing!


Covid turns everything upside down. If you test positive, that's a negative. If you test negative, that's a positive!


I don't understand the Covid variant names.
It's all Greek to me.


Coronavirus wears a mask to protect itself from Chuck Norris.


Therapist: Why do you think she’s crazy?
Me: She cooked all my food without Adobo to make me think I had Covid.


I tried to lighten the mood at a party with a coronavirus joke.
Nobody laughed at first, but eventually everyone got it.


If this Covid-19 shit gets much worse and we all have to start cannibalism, remember : Vegans first.
They are closest to grass fed animals.


Never Read the Words "COVID-19" to the Tune of the Song "Come on Eileen."


Scientists say the amount of bad coronavirus jokes is reaching worrying numbers.......
They claim its a pundemic.


Teacher : Which test can you pass without studying?
Me : COVID-19 test.


Plant based cure for COVID-19.
Plant your butt at home.


My biggest fear of side effects from covid vaccine is to start using Bing as the default search engine


My wife might have covid. One of the symptoms is loss of taste and I caught her wearing socks with flipflops.


Juventus weren't worried about Ronaldo catching the Coronavirus as they knew there was no chance of him passing it to a teammate.


Online dating during Covid is like:
I'm dying to meet you.


Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.
The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.


I have always thought of myself as a positive person.
Now thanks to COVID-19 I have proof!


What’s one thing that turned out positive in 2020 ?
My COVID test.


After contracting Covid-19 Famous Rapper DMX has promised to infect every human on earth with the virus.
This is apart of his earlier promise that "X gonna give it to ya".


China has released the name of the first person who had the coronavirus
...Ah Chu.


This is the first year I’m not going on vacation to Paris because of covid.
Usually I don’t go because I can’t afford it.


Doctor, when is the coronavirus pandemic going to end?

I don't know, I'm not that into politics.


I think Coronavirus is a millennial..
.. Because everyone's OK except the boomers.


This is the first year I've missed the New York marathon due to COVID...usually I miss it because I'm fat & can't run...


What's the difference between COVID and a Karen?
One's a contagion, the other's a cunt aging.


When Trump was asked if he handled covid properly, he responded....

I’m positive.


Why Couldn’t COVID Get A Drink At The Bar?
Cuz COVID 19.


My uncle stopped smoking because of coronavirus.
RIP uncle Jim.


- What is the difference between being a vegan and suffering from the novel coronavirus?
- In the case of COVID-19, the loss of sense of taste is only temporary.


Just to let you all know, I had the Russian Covid-19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovski secundariosvki Кто может это прочитать Обожаю Владимира Путина!


I like my women how I like my Covid...
...19 and easily spread...


I wear a mask because the Bible says "Thou shalt not Covid thy neighbor's wife".


Covid update: If you play guitar, always use hand Santanagizer before and after.


Doctors: How to deal with COVID-19 positively.
Mathematicians: |COVID-19|


I slept with my best friends wife last night and now I feel absolutely fucking awful.
Hope it's not Covid.


Has anybody else bought a Covid-19 testing kit from Wish?
I did, and apparently I'm pregnant!


Covid 19 is a threat to every single person in the world! Thank God am married! 👫


Just imagine, if Covid 19 was transmitted sexually nobody would be giving a fuck! 🤦‍♂️


How to turn hoe into houseife ?
Covid19: hold my beer !!!


Chuck Norristears can cure coronavirus !!!
Sucks for us Chuck Norris never cries (


BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

BREAKING: John Travolta hospitalized for suspected COVID-19, but doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever, and they assure everyone that he was Staying Alive.


Coronavirus will not last long because it made in China.




More coronavirus jokes on the following pages...