Jokes to Beat the Blues: Laugh Your Way Out of Depression.

Random depression joke:

I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

Depression Jokes meme
Depression Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-20.

Selected depression jokes:

Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.
It really improves your Outlook.

You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

More depression jokes...

Telling a depressed person to be happy is like asking a blind person to wear glasses.

Worry is like a rocking chair. You go back and forth, but get nowhere.
- Glenn Yarbrough.

I'm so out of shape that if somebody yells, "Run for your life!", I'Il be like, You guys go on ahead. I'm going to meet Jesus.

Have you ever seen a depressed Atom?
It's no laughing matter.

Ice is just water going through some hard time.

At first my life was depressing and miserable, but I have turned that around. Now it's miserable and depressing.

Leaving the house is good for depression, bad for anxiety. Staying at house is good for anxiety, bad for depression.

I need a day between every day to recover from the day before, and prepare for the day coming.

Reality just called, so I hung up .

I smoke weed to get high and for my depression.
I'm killing two birds with one stone.

Why was Indiana Jones depressed? His career was in ruins.

My grief counselor died, but he'd done such a good job I didn't care.

Depression Is Just Reverse Happiness.

I've gotten rid of most of the emotional baggage I used to carry around.
Now I just carry a griefcase.

People mature when they go from "It's okay, don't cry" to "It's okay, cry".

I went to the doctor because I was depressed over finishing crosswords too quickly.
He told me not to get 2 down.

I just heard the term "Toxic Positivity" and it feels so liberating to finally have a label for that vibe.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed
I started to feel a lot better.
So I thought…Sod it….soldier on

I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.

I'm having one of those days where my middle finger is answering every question.

Roses are red, free will is a lie.
Existence is a pain, I wanna die.

Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.

Why was the archeologist so depressed ?
Because his whole life was in ruins.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Why did the Mexican take anxiety medication?
For hispanic attacks.

Did you hear about the depressed Swede?

He wished he'd never been Bjorn!

Gave my depressed friend a "JUST DO IT " t-shirt .
Haven't seen him since

Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.
It really improves your Outlook.

Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed.
Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.

How does an electrician cure depression?
He uses shock therapy.

You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

Why were Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake depressed?
Their careers were in ruins.

Why did the depressed person put his booze in the elevator?
He wanted something to lift his spirits.

Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life ?
The Doctor only gave him 4 !

Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.
Because everything will get only harder.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...
That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
Because he has low elf esteem.

Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.
The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

How do depressed frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.

Why do depressed people make the best jokes?
Cause they’re already dad inside.

Why did the chicken with depression cross the road?
To apply to KFC.

I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.
They just want to like, dye.

My doctor recently prescribed me some anti-gravity pills for my depression.
They have been extremely up lifting.

My medicine makes me depressed
It's a sadative.

Gravity is really depressing.
It's always bringing everyone down.

Why was the Calendar so depressed?
He knew his days were numbered.

Why was the circle depressed?
She thought its life was pointless.

I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.

A guy couldn’t get out of his bed in the morning because of depression. Then the depression woke up and said:
-Honey are you awake?

More jokes about depression on the following pages...