Jokes to Beat the Blues: Laugh Your Way Out of Depression.

I've gotten rid of most of the emotional baggage I used to carry around.
Now I just carry a griefcase.

Why was the circle depressed?
She thought its life was pointless.

How does an electrician cure depression?
He uses shock therapy.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough….once she killed
herself
I started to feel a lot better.
So I thought…Sod it….soldier on

Q- Why was the little strawberry crying?
A - His mom was in a jam.

Suicide is never the answer. Suicide is the question .The answer is yes )))

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree which will hit the ground first?
The piece of oaper because the rope will stop the emo.

Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies.

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing.

Why can’t depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are to scared to meet the exit.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. “One more picture and I’ll jump.” He takes another photo and shuts the window. “I can’t jump, you’re not supposed to throw trash out the window.”

I can measure the speed of an object. Because I want to km/s.

I’m like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

What do depressed people and apple’s have in common?
They both hang from trees.

Are you suicide ? Cause you’re always on my mind.

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath with you.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope…

Whats a depressed persons favorite drink ?
Depresso expresso.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.