Random weather joke:
What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.
Selected weather jokes:
How does the rain tie its shoes?
With a rainbow.
It was so hot this afternoon I saw a Goth take his coat off.
Wife:😠"Why do you ALWAYS make weather references in your conversations??"
"Well, I haven't the foggiest." I told her, then proceeded to storm out of the room.
What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
Thunderwear.
More weather jokes...
One thing I dislike about cold weather is how cold it is.
Be thankful it's not snowing.
Imagine shovelling snow in this heat.
Ladies call me The Weather Man.
I promise 8 inches, but only give you 2.
It's been so hot today, I just saw two trees fighting over a dog!
What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Some girls will not walk in the rain because it returns their faces to factory settings.
I had dinner with a Meteorologist last night ; I asked if she sensed a warm front coming and she stormed out!
I enjoy warm weather, but only to a certain degree.
My wife want me to blow on her when whenever she gets overheated. Honestly, I'm not a fan....
The City’s Office of Permits
will be holding its June party outdoors, weather permitting.
Weather or not I like meteorology is none of your business. Just don’t rain on my parade!
A tornado is the one weather that both sucks and blows.
I won a gold medal at the World weather forecasting championship.I beat the raining champion.
It's called Spring because the temperature bounces up and down...
Welcome to spring, where no matter what jacket you pick, you're wrong.
Never trust a tree in the summer...
Most of them seem pretty shady...
Teacher: When rain falls does it ever rise again?
Student: Yes it does in dew time.
When asked if there'd be morning mist, the weatherman said, "I don't have the foggiest idea."
It was so cold this morning, that I actually saw a GANGSTER pull up his pants.
As raindrops say, two's company, three's a cloud.
An alternative name for mist? Sorry no i've not the foggiest.
It only rained twice last week. Once for 3 days and once for 4 days.
The weather is really hot today ! If it wasn't this hot, it would be cooler !
It was so hot today, I took off all my clothes and opened all the windows, it was such a relief.
Mind you, the other people on the bus didn't look too happy...
I was going to buy an umbrella but decided to save my money for a rainy day instead.
Wife:😠"Why do you ALWAYS make weather references in your conversations??"
"Well, I haven't the foggiest." I told her, then proceeded to storm out of the room.
When does it rain money? When there is 'change' in the weather.
Happy summer -- the time when it's too hot to do the jobs it was too cold to do all winter!
IT IS SO HOT OUTSIDE, WORMS ARE BEGGING PEOPLE TO GO FISHING.
It was so hot this afternoon I saw a Goth take his coat off.
It's so hot today, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before it ate it.
What do you call a tired tornado?
Winded.
Here's this weeks weather forecast:
Tomorrow will be Muggy...This will be followed by Tuggy, Weggy, Thuggy and Friggy!!!
I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes....
It's only a draft at the moment.
A group of weather forecasters are called stormtroopers.
BREAKING NEWS: The cold weather is to to last until it gets warmer!!
-4° looks like a depressed guy sitting on a toilet.
I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes.
It's only a draft at the moment.
Be aware of people warning of heavy Snow tonight.
It's flake news.
It’s so cold here that my kleptomaniac friend actually put his hands in his own pockets !
How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather?
He’s got bugs on his teeth.
What’s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.
What did one tornado say to the other?
“Let’s twist again, like we did last summer….”
Why do tornadoes move so erratically?
They are dizzy.
There’s a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It’s called Monday.
Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation?
Bill: I just went outside and there it was!
Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
Because if they travelled slowly, we’d have to call them slow-i-canes.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the children have to play inside.
You need to try meditating during a storm. It's a really in-lightening experience.
One raindrop turned to the other and said, "Two’s company. Three’s a cloud."