Random lazy joke:
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
Selected lazy jokes:
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd probably come in fourth so I wouldn't need to walk up to the podium.
My laziness is like the number 8.
Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
Lazy people like me go to Heaven, or they send someone to pick us up?
When I was married, I walked into my living room with a sheep under my arm... My lazy asss wife was sitting on the couch watching TV... I said “This is the pig that I f*ck when you’re not around...” She said “That’s not a pig, assshole, that’s a sheep...” I said “I was talking to the sheep...”:
More lazy jokes...
Like a lazy tailor would say...
Suit yourself.
The people who create math worksheets are so lazy.
They create a bunch of problems and expect other people to solve it for them.
There was a very very lazy man in a village. He was so lazy he didn't do anything for himself.
It got so bad that the men of the village decided it would be best to just bury him cuz he was just so lazy and useless.
So they came to his house, grabbed him and carried him away to be buried.
While carrying him to his grave, one of the men felt pity and said that maybe if they married him to one of his daughters he would change.
The men asked the lazy man would he be up for that?
The lazy man asked the father .... Is your daughter pregnant?
The father says no.
The lazy man says "take me to my grave.
What do lazy cannibals eat?
The vegetables.
I'm so lazy...
I don't even finish my...
Today we buried our lazy teacher.
We put him in an unmarked grave.
During rainy days, I and my lazy dog are competing who sleeps the deepest and the longest.
I am the underdog in this fight.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
In 2019 if you were unemployed and stayed home all day playing video games, you were a lazy bum.
In 2020 this would make you a responsible adult.
My wife is leaving me because I'm too lazy. "Pack your bags and go," she said..
"You pack them." I replied.
I was born with a lazy eye...
...and it spread to the rest of my body.
I hate when my girlfriend gets mad at me for being lazy...
It’s not like I did anything.
Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless.
Just like me.
Yo momma is so lazy...
She took 9 months to deliver the joke.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do ?
Diddly-squats.
What do you call a lazy man in space?
A procrastonaut.