Jokes About Names That Will Make You Laugh !

My kid’s pet rabbit named Gotye ran away a few days ago, and we can’t find it.

Now he’s just some bunny that we used to know.

So this bloke said to me the other day...
“Didn't one of your sisters used to play the mouth organ?”
“Arrr” I replied “That’ll be our Monica.

There is no "i" in team. But there's an "i" in Tim, and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team". So there!

- What's a person with a single lease on their name called?
- Monalisa

WTF is a Jonathan , you either John or Nathan , you can't be both.

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, But dad, your name is Brian. I said, I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.

I have a friend called Jay.

We call him J for short.

What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th? By their names.

So I was talking to my mate earlier when I thought to myself..

"Why the hell are you called earlier?"

What did Santa and Mrs. Clause name their daughter?
Mary Christmas.

There is no "i" in team. But there's an "i" in Tim, and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team". So there!

Somewhere out there your name comes up when couples argue.

Political correctness has gone absolutely bonkers.
My mate Guy Chapman has had to change his name to Person Personperson.

My Wife and I have two boys, 4 and 6.

I still wish we'd given them names instead of numbers.

Friend: Why is your brother so wicked?
Boy: He used to have a girlfriend called Ruth. She dumped him so he became ruthless.

Have you noticed how lots of popular names have gone out of fashion? For example, over at the Atheist Club, there are no Christians.

My Aunt Penny kept appearing to me
after her cremation.
I guess it’s true that
a Penny urned is a Penny saved.

Do you know that if you read EMAN RUOY backwards, you’ll see your name?

Man, "I know a guy with a wooden leg named Smith".
Friend, "Really? What's the name of the other leg?"

I'm so glad my parents named me Paul (because that's what EVERYONE calls me)!

One of Peter Pan's Lost Boys married the Gone Girl. Their children were nowhere to be seen!

Miss Booker was arrested for stealing a book. The cop said book her!

Baker, Cook, Fry, and Kitchen are real last names!

Baker, Cook, Fry, and Kitchen are real last names!

Asked a Russian guy to explain the meaning of his name but he wasn't very Igor.

Keith, worked in a factory, he had lost an eye in an unfortunate accident , so everyone started callin him keth.

Neil Armstrong?
Weird. Whenever I kneel, it’s because my legs are strong. Not my arms.

I phoned my wife on the way home from work today. I said " I have finished early, shall I stop and picked up fish and chips?".

The phone went an awkward silence for a minute, I think she still regrets me naming the twins.

Mr. Wise is a wise man. Ask Mr. Wise for counsel, otherwise, Mrs. Wise!

Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Wallcarpet on the birth of your son Walter.

Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Kebab on the birth of their daughter, Donna.

In Starbucks...
"It's Linda with an i".
"We only need your first name Ms. Withenaye.”

My friend Art has a son who never married.
We refer to him as, 'Bachelor of Art's'

What did they call Postman Pat after he retired?
Pat.

Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

I got a dog named Sandwich.
Know why?
Cause he's half bred.

What do you call someone with a small penis?
Justin!

Robin Hoods brother is also well known in the hometown. His name is Neighbour.

Man named David:
"If I ever had a son, I would name him Harley, so that everyone would go, 'Yeah, that's Harley, David's son!'

There once was a man and his family way out on a rural road. Suddenly the unthinkable! A flat tire. He opened the trunk and retrieved the spare but upon further investigation no tools to change the tire. They sat in the heat for hours. Finally this tall well built farm hand stopped to lend a hand. The man explained the situation and the farm hand said no problem. Without hesitation he grabbed the rear of the car and lifted it so the tire could be changed, then gently set it back down. The man filled with gratitude gave him $20 dollars and thanked him. Before they parted ways the man said...by the way I didn't catch your name. The farm hand replied...... Jack is my name.

This is John Crapper, my number 2 man!

Did you know John Legend started his own dairy farm?
It's Legend Dairy.

I always take the road Les traveled.
Les was really smart. He was good at directions and he knew things.

I placed my order at the restaurant and the cashier said, "can I get a name?"
I replied. "Didn't you parents give you one?"

Did you know Demi Moore used to have a sister called Not any?

So which Wright was the first Wright to write that he finally got it wright? Write? Wrong! Right.

What do you call a Roman with flu? Julius Sneezer ..

I just got a voicemail from a guy named Johann Sebastian
Should I call him Bach?

I have a new friend, Perry Noyd.
He is afraid of everything.

The detective agency didn't know whether to trust their informant, named Miss Information.

Somebody told me I'm terrible with names.

What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff.

I’ve just had my lip removed….. call me Phil.

My Indian mate Tyme is a pilot,
He wrote a book...called how Tyme flies !!