Unveiling the Witty Side of Australia: Australian Jokes.

Laughs Down Under.

"Being Australian is tough. I mean, it's really hard to find kangaroos hopping around in the concrete jungle of Hollywood."
- Hugh Jackman

"As an Australian, there's nothing more entertaining than watching people try to imitate our accent and failing miserably."
- Cate Blanchett

Australian Jokes meme.
Australian Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-22.

  1. Tickle your funny bone with Aussie wit!

  2. What's the difference between a yoghurt and Australia?
    If you leave a yogurt eventually it develops culture.

    Jason Bourne has a brother who lives in Australia.

    His name is Mel.

    Most people don't know this but the Australian figure skaters spin in the opposite direction.

    FUN Fact:
    In 2006, an Australian man attempted to sell New Zealand on eBay. The bidding reached $3,000 before eBay shut it down.

    I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue. I was surprised.

    Australians usually boo meringue...

    Australians don't have sex, Australians mate.

    In Australia they call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator".
    I guess they're just raised differently.

    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schultz.

    Why didn't the Australian marsupial get the job?

    He was over-koalified.

    They say criminals always return to the scene of the crime.
    No wonder there are so many Australians in the UK.

  3. Crack a smile, Aussie style!

  4. I was applying for citizenship in Australia, and the interviewer asked, "Do you have a criminal background".
    I replied, "No, is that still a requirement".

    What do you get when you mix elephants with kangaroos?
    Earthquakes in Australia.

    - My wife got mugged in Australia.....
    - Perth?
    - Yeth and her driving lithenth and thell phone.

    How is a chess player like an Australian who's about to leave a restaurant?
    They're both looking for a checkmate.

    What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
    Big freaking holes all over Australia!

    I met an Australian IT specialist this morning, she comes from the LAN downunder.

    What did the Australian teacher say to his talkative literature class
    Excuse me everyone please stop Tolkien.

    When I was a baby my parents used to bath me in cheap Australian lager. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I realised I’d been fostered.

    Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

    It's also their biggest import.

    Planning a trip to Australia next year and there's a question asking whether I have a criminal record.
    To be honest, I wasn't aware that I still needed one.

  5. Where kangaroos and punchlines collide: Australian Jokes.

  6. An Australian kiss – the same as a French kiss, but down under.

    I was watching an Australian cookery program and the audience cheered when the chef made a meringue.
    I was surprised as the Australians normally boomerang.

    Our new I.T. guy at the office was born in Australia.
    I just had to ask him; "Do you come from the LAN down under?" 🖥

More australian jokes on the following pages...

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