Hilarious Sadist and Masochist Jokes That Will Really Make Your Day !

What's the difference between a mosquito and a masochist
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What is a masochistics favorite vegetable?
The artichoke.

What does a french masochist say after getting beaten up?
Merci.

Masochist: Hit me!
Sadist: No!

What happens when you put your hand in a blender?

You get a hand shake.

The wife said she's leaving because of my sexual fetishes
I said fine! Don't forget to slam the door on my cock on the way out.

What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog!

My friend is married to a sadist. I asked her why she married the guy and she replied...
“Beats me”

Q: Why did the sadist set off a gas explosion?
A: He was pro-pain!

Im pretty sure my dick is a masochist.
It loves being beaten every day.

What do you call a masochist looking for a hookup?
Cruisin' for a bruisin'.

I've worked in a masochistic shop for years.
It's painfully boring.

What does a french masochist say after getting beaten up?
Merci.

A bestiality enthusiast, an arson, a sadist, a necrophile, and a masochist are right outside a psych ward when a cat passes by.
The beastialty enthusiast says "let's fuck the cat," the arsonist says, "let's fuck the cat, then burn it," the sadist says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, then kill it," then the necrophile says, "let's fuck the cat, burn the cat, kill the cat, then fuck it again," and finally the masochist says, "MEOW!"

A masochist walks into a construction yard and a breeze block falls onto his head only to miraculously split into two. A nearby construction worker exclaims in amazement to the masochist that "You must be as hard as a rock". The masochist replied saying "You have no idea".

Never believe a masochist cannibal
They are so full of themselves.

It's not fun competing with masochists with foot fetishes.
They really like the taste of defeat.

Why are masochist gathering in French bakeries?
Because they're full of pains.

I bought some masochistic butter today.
It came whipped.

What's a masochist's favorite place to go have fun?
An Abusement Park.

What is a masochistics favorite vegetable?
The artichoke.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a masochist
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

What's a masochist's favorite drink?
Champain.

I'm a masochist. There's nothing I love more than getting up at 3 in the morning for a cold shower.
So I don't.

A masochist, a sadist, and a redditor walk into a bar...
The masochist gets excited and walks into it again.
The sadist grins and sits back to watch.
The redditor groans in pain, wondering who put it there and writes a better joke in the comments.

Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.

Why did the first fishmonger go to hell?
Because he sold his sole to the devil.
Why did the second fishmonger go to hell?
Because he was a sadistic serial killer who raped and tortured his victims.

Masochist: Hit me!
Sadist: No!

I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims...
He's a mad keeler!

What is a sadists favorite candy?
S&M&Ms.

What do you call something that gives plessure to sadists?
Sadistfying.