Hilarious jokes about FBI that will make your day !

Random FBI joke:


An FBI agent was called in to speak to the manager of a bank that had been robbed three times in a row by the same guy.
He asked what kind of distinguishing things can you describe about this man? Height, weight, distinguishing tattoos, clothes?
The manager said, "what I noticed was that he seemed to be better dressed each time."

FBI Jokes meme.
FBI Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-20.




Selected FBI jokes:


How do you hide a million dollars from the FBI?
Give it to the CIA, those two don't share anything.


What the soviet FBI called?
FB-WE.


If I were locked in a room with an agent from the CIA, FBI, and NSA and I had a gun with only two bullets...
I'd shoot myself in the back of the head 3 times.


A frightened man goes to the FBI head office and says, “My talking parrot disappeared.”

“Why did you come here? Go to the regular police,” said the front desk.

The man replied: “I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”



More FBI jokes...


FBI = FOLLOWING BIDEN'S INSTRUCTIONS

CIA = COCAINE IMPORTING AGENCY


BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to purchase the FBI for $100 billion.
No word yet if the Clinton's are willing to sell.


What is an example of a Facebook paradox?
Discovering one of their user's is trying to build a bomb and having to decide between reporting him to the FBI or serving him ads for digital timers.


"Hello, is this the anonymous FBI tip line?"
"Yes, Dave."


What do the FBI and MS Paint have in common?
They don't support transparency.


If a mole working within the FBI were to come up with a joke what kind would it be?
An inside joke.


What do you call a delivery girl who dated an FBI agent?
A Fed Ex.


The FBI Just raided a local dentist office.
They are currently performing a cavity search.


What does Match.com and the FBI's Top Ten list have in common?
I'm not wanted on either.


How is an FBI interrogation like oral sex?
One slip of your tongue and you'll wind up in shit.


Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it...
One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"


Spouses are a lot like FBI agents.
They won’t ask you a question that they do not already know the answer to.


How does an FBI agent have sex
... FBI open up.
... We're coming in.


How do you hide a million dollars from the FBI?
Give it to the CIA, those two don't share anything.


A frightened man goes to the FBI head office and says, “My talking parrot disappeared.”

“Why did you come here? Go to the regular police,” said the front desk.

The man replied: “I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”


Why did the FBI investigate the duck?
He was a known quack dealer.


What the soviet FBI called?
FB-WE.


If I were locked in a room with an agent from the CIA, FBI, and NSA and I had a gun with only two bullets...
I'd shoot myself in the back of the head 3 times.


An FBI agent was called in to speak to the manager of a bank that had been robbed three times in a row by the same guy.
He asked what kind of distinguishing things can you describe about this man? Height, weight, distinguishing tattoos, clothes?
The manager said, "what I noticed was that he seemed to be better dressed each time."


What do you call a barbeque for the FBI?
A steak-out.


Why was the FBI agent happy after he visited a glory hole?
Because he received an anonymous tip.


The FBI, the CIA, and the KGB are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The FBI receive 1000 tips about the rabbit's location but refuses to investigate.

The CIA burns down the whole forest and said there's no rabbit.

The KGB drags a man out of the forest and beats him as he screams "OK I'm a rabbit!"


FBI, CIA, DEA which is best at finding people?
the IRS.


The Feds have just raided a tennis club used as a front for a large Mafia organisation.
No doubt they'll be charged with racquet-eering.


FBI: We need to update our facial recognition files.

FB: Okay, we'll start a 10 year challenge ASAP!


I screwed up my back investigating alien activity for the FBI.
I have Scully-osis.


The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you find your wife sitting in a chair… Kill her!!”
The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to kill him with the chair!”




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