Hilarious Strangers Jokes That Will Really Make Your Day !

Guy yells to a stranger across the river
"I need to get to the other side".
Stranger yells back, "You are on the other side".

I got a call from a total stranger. He was asking to meet me in the woods so that he could take a look at my penis.....
Weirdo never showed up.

Di‌‌d yo‌‌u kno‌‌w i‌‌f yo‌‌u hol‌‌d you‌‌r ea‌‌r u‌‌p to‌‌o ‌‌a stranger‌‌s leg
... yo‌‌u ca‌‌n actuall‌‌y hea‌‌r the‌‌m sa‌‌y "wha‌‌t th‌‌e fuc‌‌k ar‌‌e yo‌‌u doing?"

Is anyone else seeing a stranger in their mirror
Or is it just me?

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. “Thanks but why’d you pick me up? How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.

A stranger is just a friend you don't know.

Did you know that if you hold your ear up to a stranger's leg you can actually hear them say "What the hell are you doing?

A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me.
So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.

What did the two vegan strangers say to each other?
Nothing. They didn't meat.

My wife asked me if I'd like to spend the evening at home or go play a game of bowling.
So I told her that putting my fingers in sweaty holes where everybody had been before wasn't what I had in mind for tonight. And we went play some bowling.

I get really annoyed when complete strangers start asking me tons of personal questions.
On another note, my job interview today went terribly.

Whenever a stranger in public calls my daughter “princess...”
I order them to bow before me, for I am apparently their King.

Hey kids, what are you supposed to say if a stranger offers you drugs?
You say "thank you," because drugs are expensive.

I got a call from a total stranger. He was asking to meet me in the woods so that he could take a look at my penis.....
Weirdo never showed up.

What do you call a Mormon who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have sex with strangers?
An oxymormon.

Arguing with strangers online is like wrestling sharks.
Even if you win, it was a really stupid thing to do.

Is anyone else seeing a stranger in their mirror
Or is it just me?

A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan...
I swear I've met herbivore.

Guy yells to a stranger across the river
"I need to get to the other side".
Stranger yells back, "You are on the other side".

A lost man asked a stranger what's the fastest way to the hospital?
The stranger replied: close your eyes and cross the street.

A man holding a violin asks a stranger how to get to the concert hall.
Stranger : Practise, practise, practise.

I'm always waking up feeling like I'm in some stranger's room.
I never should have bought that false memory mattress.

Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. "Howdy, stranger," one Texan says. "Where are you from?" The Oxford graduate answers, "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions." "Oh, I'm sorry," replies the Texan. "Where are you from, jackass?

Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?"
Bobert: "No."

What do you call a stranger’s penis through a glory hole?
An Anonymous Tip.

Yesterday, I paid a random stranger to put their hands inside my mouth.
Y’know, the dentist.

I asked a stranger what do you call someone who is attracted to both male and female.
He left right away without even saying bi.

Opinions are like buttholes
Everyone has one and I like sharing mine with strangers on the internet.

Except for Steve, they all agreed that standing on a street corner soliciting money from strangers was an unsuitable occupation for a gentleman.
Steve differed to beg.

What did the stranger say to the injured British man?
UK man??

Di‌‌d yo‌‌u kno‌‌w i‌‌f yo‌‌u hol‌‌d you‌‌r ea‌‌r u‌‌p to‌‌o ‌‌a stranger‌‌s leg
... yo‌‌u ca‌‌n actuall‌‌y hea‌‌r the‌‌m sa‌‌y "wha‌‌t th‌‌e fuc‌‌k ar‌‌e yo‌‌u doing?"

Quarantine has turned us into dogs.
We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious, shove a foreign object up my ass and film the whole thing.
Or As My Doctor Insists On Calling It, A Colonoscopy.

I like how every stranger stays still when I take their picture
I guess dead people are useful for something.