Hilarious jokes about FOOLs that will make your day !

Trischmann's Paradox (Axiom of the Pipe): A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Its easier to fool the people than to convince them they are fooled.!
- Mark Twain

Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland.

He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts to him "Where am i?"

the irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't fool me, i know you're in that basket!"

2 men were walking home after a Halloween party & decided to take a shortcut through the cemetary just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetary they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping sound coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear they found an old man with a chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. Holy cow Mister, one of them said after catching his breath. You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working so late? Those fools, the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

If you ever feel foolish, remember that there are people out there who believe they are saving the planet by driving a Tesla.

When you argue with a fool, you always lose.

“The wise man does immediately what the fool does eventually.”

-Machiavelli

A wise man pretends to be a fool.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
~ Ernest Hemingway

“All utopias are dystopias. The term "dystopia" was coined by fools that believed a "utopia" can be functional.”
- A.E. Samaan

A foolish man complains of his torn pocket while a wise man uses it to scratch his balls.

Trischmann's Paradox (Axiom of the Pipe): A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Thoreau's Rule: Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.

Shaw's Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Axiom of the Pipe. (Trischmann's Paradox): A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool MOM.

Nobel Effect: There is no proposition, no matter how foolish, for which a dozen Nobel signatures cannot be collected. Furthermore, any such petition is guaranteed page-one treatment in the New York Times.

Matsch's Maxim: A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

Gilb's Laws of Unreliability (see also Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming):

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Corollary: At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
The only difference between the fool and the criminal who attacks a system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and on a broader front.
A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than of simplification, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.
Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion to the inherent unreliability of the system in which they are used.
The error-detection and correction capabilities of any system will serve as the key to understanding the type of errors which they cannot handle.
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise -- which is impossible.
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or somebody insists on getting some useful work done.

Gallois's Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.

First Law of Debate: Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

"The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life."

- Confucius

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."

- Albert Einstein

"Showing off is the fool's idea of glory."

- Bruce Lee

Its easier to fool the people than to convince them they are fooled.!
- Mark Twain

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
– Dale Carnegie

A fool with a tool is still a fool... but with a tool!

Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

The wisest of all, in my opinion, is he who can, if only once a month, call himself a fool. ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

I wrote a screen play about love in the time of Kotex.
It was a period piece.
No one would produce it. Bloody fools!

It’s easier to fool the fools, than to prove to fools that they’ve been fooled.
A.Bratus

Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
Albert Einstein

Man lost in a hot air balloon over Ireland.

He looks down and sees a farmer and shouts to him "Where am i?"

the irish farmer looks up and shouts back "You can't fool me, i know you're in that basket!"

I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking.

There's a little-known, but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.

It is a wise man who lives with money in the bank, it is a fool who dies that way.
French Proverb.

“I am a fool with a heart but no brains, and you are a fool with brains but no heart; and we’re both unhappy, and we both suffer.”

—Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Sometimes love is a misunderstanding between two fools."

It's better to be kissed by a fool than to be fooled by a kiss.

It's probably my age that fools people into thinking I'm an adult.

2 men were walking home after a Halloween party & decided to take a shortcut through the cemetary just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetary they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping sound coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear they found an old man with a chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. Holy cow Mister, one of them said after catching his breath. You scared us half to death. We thought you were a ghost! What are you doing, working so late? Those fools, the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

A shaved pussy is a busy pussy. Don't let these girls fool you. You will never see grass on a busy road.

The astronaut was fooling around in space and failed to understand the gravity of the situation!

A young man is passing by a bar when he sees an old woman fishing with a stick and a string in a puddle by the sidewalk. “She must be a poor old fool,” he thinks to himself, and out of the kindness of his heart, he invites the woman in for a drink.
After he’s paid for their round and the two are sitting quietly, he asks her, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old woman grins, takes a big sip of her drink, and replies, “You’re the eighth.”

The Women's Dictionary
1.Fine
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks.
2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine".
4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."
5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". It is normally precedes by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead", followed by "nothing" and "fine". She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"!
7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. Oh
This word - followed by any statement - heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run - do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.
9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eye browed "Go ahead". Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan
it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."
11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome".
12. Thanks A Lot
Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks". A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing".