Our top-rated army jokes are the perfect way to break the ice or lighten the mood. Whether you're a veteran or new recruit, these jokes are sure to please.
Take a break from your day and enjoy some military humor!
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-20.
Selected ARMY jokes:
I'm not an organ donor,
But I once have an old piano to the Salvation Army.
What do you call 100,000 men with their hands up?
The French Army.
Did you hear the story of how cows provided milk for the Roman Army?
It's legion-dairy.
My dentist joined the army and they made him a Drill Sergeant.
More ARMY jokes...
Who was the biggest joker in George Washington’s army?
Laugh-ayette.
When the Army barracks bathroom is in use, it's usually by the loo tenant.
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'
The nun replied, 'He went that way.'
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ....'
The nun said, 'I understand completely.'
The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'
The nun replied, 'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either !!