Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

I have zero tolerance for drugs, so I do get very high.

What happened to the guy that was addicted to bar soap?
He cleaned himself up.

Apparently more and more people over 65 are smoking weed these days. Seniors don’t complain about stiff joints any more.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.