Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

I walked into the bank and put a bag of weed on the desk.

The clerk said 'What are you doing?'

I said 'I want to open a joint account'

What happened to the guy that was addicted to bar soap?
He cleaned himself up.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.