Loser Jokes: Turning losses into laughter.

If you beat your own record, you’re both a winner and a loser.

Ladies, you need to work on your chat up lines.
'Fuck off loser' is never going to get me in to bed.

I went to the gym to workout, and a group of buff guys walked past me and called me a fat loser.
Technically they were right, because I lost a lot of fat.

While gaming last night, I was called a loser due to still having my default skin
But when I showed up to school, the next day, wearing a new skin, I’m a psychopath.

I am such a loser.
The last time I won anything I was still a sperm.

Why does everyone assume that just because I’m a 40 year old loser that I live in my parent’s basement?
My parents don’t have a basement. I live in my bedroom like a big boy.

You can call me a loser all you want but I know I'm a winner. Always have been one. Never lost a thing.
Not even my virginity.

Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he have all these pictures of my dad telling me I'm a loser ?

Sleep is for losers, we overthink.

Chuck once dueled Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes forever!

I went to the gym to workout, and a group of buff guys walked past me and called me a fat loser.

Technically they were right, because I lost a lot of fat.

Confucius Say.
Better to lose a lover
Than love a loser.

If you beat your own record, you’re both a winner and a loser.

This should be posted in every school or kid's bedroom. (11) RULES KIDS WILL NOT LEARN IN SCHOOL.
*Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
*Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
*Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
*Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
... *Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.
*Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. *Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you think you are: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
*Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HASN'T. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
*Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF -that's for your own time.
*Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. *Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one! ~Most recent rendition written by Charles J. Sykes... So if you can read this... Thank a Teacher. If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier! And for life and everything else you have... Thank God & your parents!! Now.... think about this and smile and feel free to repost if you choose!

How can you spot the losers in a social media War?
They're the ones yelling, "Retweet! Retweet!!"