Jokes About Names That Will Make You Laugh !

I prefer my Kale with a silent K.

My fella said if I do one more pun, he’s changing my name to RePunzel!

Mr. Wise is a wise man. Ask Mr. Wise for counsel, otherwise, Mrs. Wise!

What is it with writing names on food in the fridge? Today I ate a salad called Sandra.

What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy.

I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.

I told my Wife I would pick Fish and Chips up on the way home and she just grunted… I think she regrets letting me pick the twins’ names.

My grandmother is 80% Irish.
They call her Iris.

I’m great at remembering names.

I just don’t remember which one is yours.

Applying for a loan:

“Okay, let’s start with your name.”

“James”

“And your surname?”

“Sir James”

What do they call a man with 3 wooden heads ..Edwood Wood Wood 😆
What do they call a man with 4 wooden heads..I don't know but I bet Edwood Wood Wood would 😆

My son's name is Noah and I jokingly tell people his middle name is Fence. No one ever gets it.

What do you call two men standing in a window?
Curt and Rod.

I was in prison and my cellmate told me to look out for 'one-eyed Bill'.

"Why?" I asked "Is he dangerous?"

He said "No. He just keeps bumping into people".

My friend Saul is a chef whose signature dish combines meat and fruit.
It's called Saul's berry steak.

Sky News: 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their deaths!
I can't believe they all had the same name !!!!

I have a nephew named Violence who's terrible at math.

Violence doesn't solve anything.

A policeman stopped me today and said can I have your name?
I said no I'm using it.

I prefer my Kale with a silent K.

I had a look around a cathedral with my friend Neil but I lost sight of him.
I called his name & 50 visitors dropped to their knees.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

"I'm Pete."
"I'm Peter."
"That's not a competition."

My son Luke loves how I named my kids after star wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca not so much.

What did the Health Inspector say to his wife when he got home from work?
“Hi Jean!”

Teacher: "Simon, can you spell your name backwards?"

Simon: "Nomis."

My favorite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle.

Strange name but she tortoise well.

I knew a lawyer named Sue.
She went to court alot.

Dickinson is a really weird surname when you break it apart.

Our friend Pete owns a Japanese bar and restaurant. We go there for Pete's sake.

Dad named David:
"If I ever had a son, I would name him Harley, so that everyone would go, 'Yeah, that's Harley, David's son!' "

My friend Jay just had baby girl triplets and he wanted to name them after him.
I suggested Kay, Elle, and Em.

I was named after my dad.
Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him.

During labour a nurse said to a woman. 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?'
She said, 'thanks, but I already picked a name.'

My son Video called me today.
He said "Dad why did you name me Video"?

I used to date a girl from the south pole,her name is Ann Tartic.

So this bloke said to me the other day...
“Didn't one of your sisters used to play the mouth organ?”
“Arrr” I replied “That’ll be our Monica.

Not sure who Pota is, but we eat a lot of his toes.

Was at the Olympics and I said to this guy..Are you a pole vaulter?
He said no...I'm German...and how did you know my name ?

What’s postman Pat going to call himself when he retires?

Pat.

Wife: If I could do it all over again, I'd have 2 kids max.
Me: But what would you name the other 3?
Wife: GET OUT!

I got chatting to this woman at the bus-stop this morning and she told me that people call her Vivaldi.
I asked her: “Is that because you’re a brilliant violinist?" She said: “No, it’s because my name is Viv and I work at Aldi.“

How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Meat Patty.

What is it with writing names on food in the fridge? Today I ate a salad called Sandra.

Mr Bigger married and they had a baby.
Who in the family was bigger?
A: baby Bigger. He was a little bigger!

When The Edge was at school, he was a border.

Why do you always drop the H when you call my name. Don’t you know how to spell it?
Sorry, you’ll have to blame my poor diction, ‘arry.

My electric bill’s so big this month, I call it an electric William.

French police have refused entry to a Mrs Gemma Pell until she gives them her name.

My favorite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle...strange name but she tortoise well.

I was named after my dad. Because I could not possibly be named before him!

Stephen King has a son named Joe. I’m not joking, but he is.

I need a pet pig so I can name him Chris P. Bacon .

In my car I was stopped by the police he said let me have your name.
I said .
What do I do then .

Why does Edward Woodward have so many 'D' s" in his name?
If he didn't he'd be Ewar Woowar!