Random names joke:
I phoned my wife on the way home from work today. I said " I have finished early, shall I stop and picked up fish and chips?".
The phone went an awkward silence for a minute, I think she still regrets me naming the twins.
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-11-23.
Selected names jokes:
Our friend Pete owns a Japanese bar and restaurant. We go there for Pete's sake.
When The Edge was at school, he was a border.
Q: What do you call a man in a raincoat?
A: Mac
Q: What do you call two men in raincoats?
A: Max
Q: What do you call two men in raincoats in a cemetery?
A: Max Bygraves
So which Wright was the first Wright to write that he finally got it wright? Write? Wrong! Right.
More names jokes...
Why do we fire at will ?
What's he done that we keep firing at him ?
What do you call a man with a plank on his head? Edward
What do you call a man with 2 planks on his head? Edward Wood
What do you call a man with 3 planks on his head? Edward Woodward
What do you call a man with 4 planks on his head? Dunno
But I betcha Edward Woodward would.
My fella said if I do one more pun, he’s changing my name to RePunzel!
Q: What do you call a man in a raincoat?
A: Mac
Q: What do you call two men in raincoats?
A: Max
Q: What do you call two men in raincoats in a cemetery?
A: Max Bygraves
What do you call a man with a light on his head?
Sean de lear.
And his wife is Chrystal Sean de lear. 😄
I've often wondered:
Who the heck is Pete?
And why do we do things for his sake?
I know a dentist who doesn’t like tea. Denis.
I met an Olympic Athlete and asked him “Are you a pole vaulter?”
He said, No, I’m German but how did you know my name was Valter?
My friend Tony told me please don't say my name backwards.
I said Y not?
Women dating younger men are called "Cougars". Men dating younger women are called "Rich".
He was always making up stories so when he told me that he has 7 brothers named "Angus", I told him that is a lot of bull.
What do you call a man with 4 planks of wood on his head?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would.
"My name will live forever!"
- Anonymous.
Studies show that people named Violet never smile.
That's because Violets are blue.
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly and as you can see, they were Wright.
What do you call two guys hanging on a window?
CURT AND Rod.
Teacher: "Simon, can you say your name backwards?"
Simon: "No Mis". ☺️
My friend Tim broke up with his girlfriend Ruth via text message.
Tim is ruthless.
What do you call a camel that has no hump?
Humphrey.
I have a friend who’s half Indian...
Ian.
What do you call a woman who's a compulsive gambler?
Betty.
My mate phoned and told me he had changed his name to Spinal Column.
I said: "I'll call you back." 🤣
What do you call a guy with an ant on his knee?
Anthony.
I think that men who shorten their name to Pat are missing a trick.
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
My girlfriend asked me to name off all my sexual partners in order.
I probably should've stopped when I got to her name.
A friend got his name legally changed from Pert.
I guess he's an expert now.
What do you call a pansexual man named Nick who works at a cd store?
Pan Nick at the disc co.
Have a daughter named after my mother in law.
Passive-Agressive Psycho turns 5 next week.
A guy named Oedipus just hit me with a car.
That Motherfucker.
I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Grandma yells across the room: "Billy, what's the name of that german guy who drives me crazy?"
"It's Alzheimer, grandma".
I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex.
He's a small arms dealer.
What do you call a guy who has pencils for fingers?
Mark.
What do you call a Russian with Tourette's Syndrome?
Yukanol Fukov.
What do you call someone with no legs and steel balls?
Sparky.
What do you call an Asian that gets on your nerves?
Anno Ying.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
If I were a Judge, I'd change my surname to Mental.
If Mr Baker's a Baker And Mr Butcher's a Butcher Then what's Mr Dickinson?
The most common surname in China is Chang.
Correct me if it's Wong.
What do you call an ex-member of NSYNC who only goes by his surname?
Just Timberlake.
Mez: what's your surname Selena?,
Selena: Gomez.
Mez: okay I'll go but what's your surname?
Twenty-one is standing in a line, he's astonished that the person in front of him is the same guy behind him. He askes what their names are.
The person behind him says, " My name is Twenty." The person in front of him says, " I'm Twenty two."
- “Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband with a fork?...it was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”
- “Witherspoon?!”
- “No I just told you it was with her fork!”
China has released the name of the first person who had the coronavirus
...Ah Chu.
- What is it called when a person named Shaun takes a break?
- Vaca-Shaun.
My friend just had three kids! He asked me what to name them. I said ‘James, Charles and Li Zhao’ He asked me why the last one was Li Zhao. So I said ‘Because every 3rd person born in this world is Chinese.
- What's a person with a single lease on their name called?
- Monalisa