Hilarious Blonde Jokes that will make your day !

Random BLONDE joke:


- What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
- The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.

Blonde Jokes meme.
Blonde Jokes meme.

100% Guilt-Free Laughter. - Updated: 2024-05-25.




Selected BLONDE jokes:


As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.


Two blondes drive to Disneyland, they see a sign that reads Disneyland left so they turned around and went home.


Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.


- Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
- Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”



More BLONDE jokes...


A Blond goes over to her friend's house wearing a TGIF tee-shirt.
Why are you wearing a Thank God It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?
Oh crap!' the blond says.
I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt.
I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.


Landlord tells blonde she has to suck his dick to pay rent.
She blows him, swallows, and says, "Now can I pay rent?"


Doctor: I'm waiting for your X-ray
Blonde: But I've never dated anyone named Ray.
Doctor: And we might do a brian scan.


Q: Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.


Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.


Two blondes drive to Disneyland, they see a sign that reads Disneyland left so they turned around and went home.


My new blonde girlfriend woke me up this morning and said "Hey, how about a early morning blowjob?"
I said, "You're crazy, you don't even have a penis." and rolled back to sleep.
Honestly , These blondes, thick as shit some of them.!!!


Two blondes walking down the sidewalk. A man says hey you look alike, are you sisters? The girls just laughed and said, no, we're not even Catholic.


As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.


Why don’t blondes talk during sex?

Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.


A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”


- Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears?
- Because they’re desperately trying to hold in a thought.


- Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
- She was desperately trying to make up her mind.


- How do you confuse a blonde?
- You don’t. They’re born that way.


- What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
- The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.


- Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
- To avoid getting hearing AIDS.


- What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
- You can unscrew a lightbulb.


- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
- Someone told her drinks were on the house.


- What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
- The more you bang them, the looser they get.


- How do you confuse a blonde?
- Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.


Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.


- Why don’t blondes talk during sex?
- Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.


- Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
- Because they say “concentrate.”


- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- “I wonder if it’s mine.”


- Why do blondes love boob jobs?
- It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.


- Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
- Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”


- How do you keep a blonde busy?
- Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.


- Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
- So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills.




More blonde jokes on the following pages...


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