Hilarious Blonde Jokes that will make your day !

Random BLONDE joke:


Two blondes walking down the sidewalk. A man says hey you look alike, are you sisters? The girls just laughed and said, no, we're not even Catholic.

Blonde Jokes meme.
Blonde Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2025-07-04.




Selected BLONDE jokes:


- What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
- The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.


- How do you confuse a blonde?
- Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.


- Why do blondes love boob jobs?
- It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.


As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.



More BLONDE jokes...


A Blond goes over to her friend's house wearing a TGIF tee-shirt.
Why are you wearing a Thank God It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?
Oh crap!' the blond says.
I didn't realize it was a religious T-shirt.
I thought it meant Tits Go In Front.


Landlord tells blonde she has to suck his dick to pay rent.
She blows him, swallows, and says, "Now can I pay rent?"


Doctor: I'm waiting for your X-ray
Blonde: But I've never dated anyone named Ray.
Doctor: And we might do a brian scan.


Q: Why did the Blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.


Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.


Two blondes drive to Disneyland, they see a sign that reads Disneyland left so they turned around and went home.


My new blonde girlfriend woke me up this morning and said "Hey, how about a early morning blowjob?"
I said, "You're crazy, you don't even have a penis." and rolled back to sleep.
Honestly , These blondes, thick as shit some of them.!!!


Two blondes walking down the sidewalk. A man says hey you look alike, are you sisters? The girls just laughed and said, no, we're not even Catholic.


As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.


Why don’t blondes talk during sex?

Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.


A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”


- Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears?
- Because they’re desperately trying to hold in a thought.


- Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
- She was desperately trying to make up her mind.


- How do you confuse a blonde?
- You don’t. They’re born that way.


- What do blondes and dog shit have in common?
- The older they get, the easier it is to pick them up.


- Why did the blonde put condoms on her ears?
- To avoid getting hearing AIDS.


- What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
- You can unscrew a lightbulb.


- Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
- Someone told her drinks were on the house.


- What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
- The more you bang them, the looser they get.


- How do you confuse a blonde?
- Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.


Three blondes walk into a building.
You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.


- Why don’t blondes talk during sex?
- Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.


- Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
- Because they say “concentrate.”


- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- “I wonder if it’s mine.”


- Why do blondes love boob jobs?
- It’s really the only job they’re qualified for.


- Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
- Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”


- How do you keep a blonde busy?
- Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.


- Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
- So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills.




More blonde jokes on the following pages...


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